Sweeeeeet!!

Alright, so I had had some baby fever going on but now it's totally gone! Well, the pressure to be is gone. Thanks to Annie and Michael deciding to have a third baby has completely set me at ease. No one's looking at me now to keep the fun going. A blessing in disguise. muhahaha

In different news, I had a patient unexpectedly die. I don't cry. . . . er to say I haven't cried for patients. This is the third one out of many that I have actually cried over, felt guilt, said prayers and apologized to this patient in Heaven. The first was for a patient I got too attached to at big baylor. He fought against the odds. He was my miracle patient. He made it to getting a heart transplant and then died a year later. He coded and died the day I was at the hospital but he was on a different floor. I knew he was there and I knew it was him. The girl who precepted me at that time came up to give me the news. I cried. The second patient I cried over was a 20 year old, pregnant girl (I say girl. She was way too young). She died and I went home and cried and cried. Three days later Adam proposed. I'll never forget that sequence of events. So this guy at the heart hospital is my third. It took me a week to cry about it. Ugh. ICU . . . especially cardiac icu. . . makes you distance yourself. It's really hard to grow a bond because you know deep down you shouldn't. . . .

Hmm. I've just now remembered that God is bigger than all of it. Why did I question if I should pray for my patients? Why did I think that medicine was bigger? Miracles happen. Thank you Candice for sharing your story about the boy in Lubbock with his appendix problems. That is clearly a miracle. I can't explain it. You can't explain it. Medicine can't explain it. . . . It's weird how you selectively think that God is in one situation and not another. You go into one patient's room and think, "wow, God is really working in this room, in this family." And then other rooms you walk into and you're thinking "what the crap? what the heck is going on? why can't I understand this?" ::Sigh:: I don't even know if I make sense right now but it's nice to type about.

Hmm. Guess that's it.

Blah

I'm tired of people not updating! Time to update your blogs!! Dust off ye old computer and blog. There I said it.

Not much going on around here. I've been off work for almost eight days. . . It's getting kind of ridiculous. I switched my schedule all around so I could be in San Antonio for Erin having her baby and work just forgot to put me back in the online scheduling thing. So I showed up on Tuesday ready to work and my name's not on the board. ::sigh:: So then I was going to work Friday and Saturday but now they also need help tomorrow, so badda bing, badda boom. Back to work tomorrow. :)

Erin had a gorgeous baby boy last Wednesday. :-D 8lbs, 9 oz. Which reminds me I need to send a check to Krissy. . . On my list of things to do!

Hans is sleeping right now which is amazing. He never sleeps during the day. He's always awake and barking at me from across the room. He barks REALLY loud when I get on the computer. lol. He's jealous! hee hee hee. He wants me to spend that time with him.

I went to burger king for breakfast this morning. I don't recommend it. The picture of the "croissanwich" looks 100x better than the actual end product they give you. Bleh.

I finished the Twilight series last week, the Tuesday before San Antonio. And then I read book one again and am halfway through book four. lol. Skip book two and three! lol They're just fillers. :-) Team Edward!! One thing I've wondered though. How can sex be so good with Edward if she always describes him as feeling like stone/hard as a statue? That doesn't sound so pleasant to me. I'm just sayin. . .

What else. We're back to riding almost every day again. It is pretty fun and these last few days have been just gorgeous! Great weather for riding. The sprint triathlon is in 11 days. ::GASP:: We'll see how it goes. :-) It's called the "Old College Tri" and so we're going to wear UTA t-shirts. I'm excited. Even if I have to walk the whole three miles, I'd really like to finish.

k. bye!