So, throughout my days, I think of something great to post about. But, if I don't sit down and do it right then, no matter how hard I try to keep it in memory, I forget. Just know that I've had some doozies; some great stories to tell. They were hilarious. I can remember that they made me laugh, just not what exactly it was that made me do so. :-)

I figure I might as well write this instead of continuing to not write anything.

So far I have reused all bags and wrapping paper from last year. I'm very proud of this because I go out to Hobby Lobby every year and inevitably buy more packaging that I don't really need. It's a waste of money when I have everything I need here. So, no, they won't match, but that's okay. I wish Hobby Lobby or something similar held gift wrapping classes. My friend, Erin, got a list of classes recently and I think we'll be trying the knitting or crocheting class which is really exciting! It will be nice to have a useful skill.

I think Adam and I are starting to feel comfortable with our finances. Even though we may be depleting over the next year fixing up our house, we make more than most and should be happy. We're even starting the conversations of me staying home all the time. Now, this won't happen any time soon. But, it will. Someday. :-) And if something happens with his job, then it's super easy for me to just jump in to any hospital and start working again. This makes me really happy and I look forward to the day.

So. Things that need to be done with the house. Just so you get an idea of our stress level right now and then put a baby on top of that:

- Structural engineer to come look at the house since three different foundation people have roughly said three different things.
- Have the floors in the living room, dining room, and two front bedrooms be pulled up.
- Have the needed foundation repair done
- Be out of the house for a while. Get a pod to hold all our furniture
- Move into a hotel
- Have new floors laid once all foundation repair done
- Move back in
- Have dining room repainted, repaired from Hans chewing on the wall, and get rid of popcorn ceiling, make it a dining room
- Have carpet in bedroom and master closet changed out, paint bedroom, get new furniture
- Move Hans to where our eating table is now? Not sure where to put him
- Make a screened in sun porch so we can keep Hans out there?
- Redo back porch, regardless, and put nice furniture out there and make it a place we want to hang out
- Have the crepe mertles cut back
- Have trees in the front yard cut back so they're not hanging over the house
- Repaint the living room once all work done in there because that's what they recommend
- Probably means repainting the front two bedrooms, as well
- And at the end of all that, stay or go?

Some day we may move back to Arlington. If I'm staying home and don't have to commute and Adam's office is moving downtown, he won't have to commute as far. Now. Don't hold this over our heads. Don't ask us when it would happen. I'm not even sure it would happen. We like the area. We like Dallas. I personally enjoy Dallas a lot and think that Arlington is not the Arlington I once knew. We take the little jibs like "life's too short to live in Dallas" and let them slide off our shoulders because we know the city we love.

And to get off that tangent, I had to perform the Heimlich on Hans two days ago because he got some potpurri stuck in his throat. He just came into the room, just now, and threw up some spit and water. God bless this dog. :-)

If I only had a brain. . .

I thought that the "brain farts," memory lapses and stupidity would go away once I had the baby. Apparently, it stays around forever. I even went out and bought a pregnancy test because I thought, "surely I can't be this stupid for no reason!!"

Alas, such is the life for all moms. Here are a few examples of my day to day encounters with my brain just taking a break.

1. (memory loss) Adam and I were at the hospital in Ft. Worth and we were picking up Ann that day. I drove my car to Ann's, got her keys and took her car to Ft. Worth and then when it was getting to be too late, I took Adam's car back to Ann's. Well. As you can see, there was a lot of key exchange in there. First of all, I put my keys in Ann's glove box. So, when I had to leave, I had to take Adam's keys and Ann's keys to the garage. First mistake, I got all the way out to the parking garage with just Adam's keys even though we had JUST TALKED about how I needed both. Trudged back up to Ann's room, got her keys and I was supposed to call Adam when I was at the front of the hospital so he could come down and get her keys from me. Well. Next thing I knew, I was almost to the highway and had completely forgotten our rendezvous. Had to turn around. Missed my turn. Had to track around one way roads. I was so pissed. My brain took a vacation there.

2. I was at work receiving a patient from OR. In report, I was told he had an art line. I proceeded to set up my entire art line only to remember when I was done that "doh! They come out with their own setups here." I've been working there for two years. I know this. And somehow I reverted back to my BUMC days where we had to set up our own art lines. I quickly wheeled this into my room and luckily no one said anything!! lol

3. A conversation after getting home last night from dinner:
Me: ::looking sad::
Adam: What's the matter?
Me: I have to get Emma to bed and now my ice cream's going to melt
Adam: Baby. . .
Me: What?
Adam: Put it in the freezer. . . ?
Me: ::thinking:: Oh right. That 19th century invention that keeps things cold for you. I wanted to mash my forehead into a wall, saying "stupid, stupid, stupid!"

It is soooo annoying to be spacey and dumb and retarded when you weren't the first 25 years of your life! I think I'll start taking omega 3 like everyone says.

Speed Hump Ahead

Last week my mom asked me why there was a new sign on Briarwood for a speed hump. (Like I would know! I live in Dallas and she lives one block away from it!) Anyway. . . I remembered they had laid speed testers a while back and must have decided that people rounded that corner too quickly, so they put in speed humps. That's all fine. What's insane is the ridiculous amount of signs they put up telling you that there is a "speed hump ahead". There is one pointing west on Park Row before you turn on the street, one pointing east on Park Row before you turn on the street, two signs on the actual street, one on Ravenwood and one further down on Briarwood again. I was surprised when I drove down the street and didn't see a "you have just passed a speed hump" sign. Good Lord, people! It's not that necessary. But, yes, I know. If they weren't there, there would be some a-hole who would go too quickly over the speed humps and complain, "where was the sign??"

I am so depressed about our floor. It's not fixed, yet. State Farm is running every test imaginable before they take responsibility or make the floor company take responsibility. It is awful living in an ever state of limbo. We can't set up our living room the way we want. We now have two areas where they have removed some boards and yes, even though I know they're there, I have tripped over them. We have old Ikea furniture that we haven't sold yet because of all this mess going on with the living room and having to have a plumber or service master guy out every other day. So our kitchen has two Ikea coffee tables in it. Adam is wanting to organize electronics so there are seven boxes of wires, cables and game systems in the back weight room/now office. I haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate it. I just want a clean, organized, non-damaged house. Please? Maybe by Christmas? That would be a great Christmas gift. ::sigh::

Candice has set a date for her wedding and I have already booked my plane ticket and hotel. So excited but I am also already freaking about leaving Emma for the first time. What I can't decide is if we should just stay till Saturday night or stay extra. I'm sure I'll feel differently when she is 10 months old.

Tonight is Halloween and we've had a respectable amount of trick or treaters. The last few years it's been sparse but I think the neighborhood is turning young again. Emma was a skeleton but because I worked till 7:30, it was really dark by the time I got home and I didn't see that many people out walking. Eh. There's always next year and the next and the next to go out and wear cute costumes.

And, in conclusion, GO RANGERS!

Hmmm, what to write about. . . The hubs and I just watched "Get Him to the Greek." A little slow and stupid at first, but ultimately a good ending. Rated R for a reason, just in case you were wondering.

I have wanted to go to Mommy Matinee for weeks now. Some day I'll go. ::sigh:: Maybe this week will be better. Emma has been going through a growth spurt the last week or so and has woken up multiple times during the night to eat. It's amazing how it really doesn't affect me anymore. I really don't care about losing the sleep. I don't think about it. It's just natural. Baby cries, pick baby up, feed baby, burp baby, lay her back down, lay me back down. Done and done.

I want to post about our floor. Trust me. I really want to post about our floor. But for insurance purposes I'm going to keep quiet. Lord knows my mouth (typings) have gotten me in trouble before so let's not chance it. Our floor is messed up. Yes, the one we just had laid four months ago. It's not awesome. . . Owning a home is so hard. But what's the alternative? Renting? Never feeling like your home is yours? Ugh. It makes me want to buy a brand new house next time. But even then, I know I'll be dissapointed with it at some point. That's just life.

The girl I switched positions with at work has backed off of wanting to switch back. If you prayed about it or sent good thoughts my way, thanks. I think it helped. :-) So I'm staying on weekends. Woot!

Oh. I was thinking I had nothing else to post but there's one more thing. One of my best friends, Candice, is getting married. Cameron proposed last night. I haven't gotten all the gooey details, yet. They're searching for venues this weekend. Hope they find something they love. I'm voting for Savannah, Georgia! I'm being selfish because I know it would be a romantic trip for Adam and I, too. Pretty sure it would be sans-baby, but I don't know who I would have look after her. (Obviously many of you are fine qualifiers so don't take this the wrong way) But it's SCARY thinking about leaving her with someone. Don't know how I'm going to handle that. Dang it, maybe I'll take her. lol!

To Spanx or not to spanx

I went to Motherhood Maternity the other day so I could get some new bras (other stores just don't have good nursing bras). Rounding the corner, I saw the Spanx wall. I never have worn them before but there was a tank top, so I thought, why not? I tried it on in the dressing room and it is really hard to get on but once on, A-Mazing! It pushes up what needs to be pushed up and tucks in what needs to be tucked in. I wore it under my shirt for work. (We get to wear t-shirts at work with the hospital's logo on it). And since being back to work, wearing scrub pants and t-shirts, I've felt like I look three months pregnant. . . the ever-present "pooch" that moms all talk about. Anyway, so I wore it on Saturday and fellow-young-mom Allison said, "I've really been noticing that you're losing weight!" I excitedly told her that I was wearing the Spanx tank-top and she goes "well not just today." SUUURE, I told her. haha :-)

So, in addition to that. Adam and I have been on a calorie counting diet. I've lost four pounds since starting it. The "Tap & Track" App on the Iphone is (again) A-Mazing! It's so easy to input the food you've eaten because they have a massive inventory of foods, brand names, and restaurants. And if after that, they still don't have it, then you can enter your own foods and their information. So you put in your weight, age, and other information and it gives you your calorie allotment and you try to stay under that every day. And you can tell it if you want to lose one pound a week, less or more. AND you can enter your exercises and also tell it if you have a strenuous job (like me where I'm walking 80% of the 12 hour shift). And I can also tell it I'm breastfeeding and it takes all of that into account. It really shined light on my eating habits. I thought I was eating well. . . but I was eating a ton and with "angry baby perk" everyday, I would go to fast food just so I could get out of the house. Fast food is ridiculous. I know that's a "duh" statement, but seriously. You don' t think it's that bad till you see it staring you in the face on your iphone. :-)

Emma was unofficially 12.5 pounds on the scale at home yesterday. She has her 4-month appointment tomorrow so I'll let you know! She's out of newborn clothes ::TEAR:: Our little girl is growing up. :-(

Pros Cons

Recent Pros: Friday night, Erin and Scott came over to hang out and there was a noticeable BUMP with Erin!!! Eeeeee. I'm so excited. They just started trying this summer. :-D

Recent Con: Got Emma off her bedtime routine on that Friday night and she woke up three times before finally nodding off at 10:30 but mom nodded off with her and didn't get to hardly talk to Erin about her pregnancy or get to say goodbye. ::sigh:: Thus started a week of Emma not going to sleep well. We would do the same routine and she would fall asleep at 8 but be up again at 9 and at 10 and only sleep till 5. ::Double sigh::

Recent Pro: Sunday, Adam and I went to Hurricane Harbor! We have been talking about it since before Emma was born. My bathing suit was a tad bit small on top. Yikes! Didn't expect that. No time to buy a new one so I'm sure I just looked like a floozy to all the parents there that day. lol. That same Sunday night, Adam and I finally hung out with our neighbors behind us. They are a young family like us with a 20 month old and a one month old. The dad, Phil, is always in his garage working on something so we have always just talked there. But Sunday night, we came home and celebrated Labor Day with cooking out and a great backyard dinner and "red neck golf." I can't even begin to explain it so look it up. :-) Their friends Emily and Barrett also came over and Barrett is in comercial real estate so he and Adam got along really well. They all went to SMU so it felt a little weird at times for us to be like "yeah. . . we went to UTA. . . " but other than that, it was totally fine!

Other Pros: Emma has grabbed her toys all by herself for two days now! Isn't it funny how the smallest things excite you?? We're also working on rolling this week and Emma is almost there with rolling on to her left side by herself. She just needs a little push! I would upload pictures but the camera is in the other room and you guys know I'm way too lazy for that. ;-)

Con: Had our first tornado warning at the house on Wednesday night. Hans, Emma and I went to the master closet and hunkered down for a bit. That closet seems really big until you stick Hans in there. Holy cow, he's so big! Poor buddy doesn't know it. :-) The tornado touched down in downtown and the storm came right over us but another tornado did not touch down in our area. Thank goodness!

... I think that's it for now!

You'd think I could remember nursery rhymes and songs from my childhood but I've been having a hard time! On a daily basis I say to myself, "Man I gotta look that one up, too!" lol Tonight there were ninjas, duckies and daddies on my Wheels on the Bus. :-)

I really, really, really want to go to $1 hot dog night at the Ballpark. Yummm. I've been watching a lot of baseball lately because nothing's on right now and the Rangers are doing pretty well. I usually don't like baseball but I've really gotten into it!

We got new iphones!!!! I'm so giddy with it. I don't even know all the great things about it, yet. I've never had one so to me, it's a brand new concept.

We went to the Tom Thumb not close to our house on Monday (Adam took the day off.) and stocked up on wine. So I'm having a glass right now. :-) Dallas is dry. Awesome, right? Not!

Ok, gotta go. Little girl woke up.

I'm not perceptive at all when it comes to movies. I can't look ahead and think who the bad guy is or how the movie will end. So when I sat down to watch "Remember Me," I had no idea what the movie was really about. I feel so duped! So led on. Now, okay, the acting isn't superb but the idea and premise, looking back now, is good. A good look at regular life. Looking back, it's not pretentious, it's trying to examine everyday life before. . . well. I won't spoil it for you. You can go look it up and/or watch the movie.

Perhaps you're wondering how I had time to sit down and watch a movie today. Well, Emma and I sat on the couch and nursed and slept off and on. It was magical. Which brings me to my next topic. I love breastfeeding. I love Emma. I love providing for her and I love it even more when I feed her enough that she falls asleep deeply and is able to rest. Last week was rough but I think Emma was either trying to fight off a little infection or reacting to the vaccines with some fussiness. The last two nights, she has slept from 10pm-6am non-stop.

Which brings me to my next topic. I didn't plan on co-sleeping . . . and I wouldn't really call that what I'm doing because I know there's more theory and idea to it than just placing your child in bed with you. But that's what I've been doing because she just sleeps so much better with this. Almost immediately, if she is a little fussy going down for a nap, my laying next to her and her hearing my even breath close to her, she calms down and is able to rest. I know I can put her in the pack 'n play and she may sleep there but there's also more of a possibility that she wakes up more often. Even with the swaddle me blanket, she kicks and awakens, maybe gets cold. . . realizes I'm not there. . . I have no idea. She just sleeps better in the bed. We'll move away from it eventually but Adam and I have talked and we know it's just temporary and are okay with it for now. It seems that things easily change every week so I could be saying differently next week. Who knows?

I took my first PTO day on Saturday from work. I want to do this at least once a month so that I have a weekend day with my hubby and family. I started the day with yoga with one of the best instructors I've had, Joseph (www.yogastylefitness.com) He's so not overly yogi or super concerned with you getting the pose right. He's more about flow and strength and personal experience. I love that. This is the first time for me doing yoga in a year and ooohhh my god, I was soooo sore afterward. I could barely lift my arms. I swam on Friday, too, so I know that didn't help. Having to carry around a 10+ pound baby doesn't help either! It feels good to feel strong again, though. Adam wanted to either go riding or shooting. We haven't gone shooting in a year because it's not recommended when you are pregnant. The loud noise reverberates in the womb and can damage the baby's hearing. Interesting, no? So we went shooting and I started out shooting the hand guns and then switched to riffle. Nope. Couldn't do it. I was that sore from yoga. I couldn't lift the guns for very long. I watched Adam for the last part and the we went to lunch.

You want more? Oh, I've got more. Sunday, I got to look like the bad-ass nurse. I caught something big regarding a patient. You remember that perception problem I have with movies? Well, I think I'm really good at assessing the situation with a patient. Things can quickly chage in ICU and you always have to be on guard. I'm glad that I have that talent. I love remembering to be the patient's advocate. I know that's a common idea in nursing but it's not always carried out. Most days we just go through the motions, you know? It's nice to just step back and remember why you're there and not worry about looking dumb or embarrassing a doc or fellow nurse or angering a family member. . .or doc .. .or fellow nurse. haha. Sunday was just refreshing for me. Even though it was busy, I wish I had more days like it.

I love giving my little girl kisses. I can't wait for her to know that they mean love and not just mom getting too close to her face, too!

David and Melanie watched Emma tonight so she is still awake beside me because her schedule's a little off. Instead of bath at 8, it was bath at 9:30 and then mom still wanted to watch So You Think You Can Dance so we did that for a bit. Now I'm trying to get her to settle down.

Tonight was good. It was our first true "date-date" since Emma was born. We've been out to do things but this was the first time I've put make-up on and straightened my hair in three months. THREE MONTHS. Yikes. Our neighbors brought us lasagna tonight, too. So sweet of them. They have two dogs that Hans plays with. I had a mambo taxi at mi cocina. I'm a cheap date! It only took one to feel the buzz. Oh and is it wrong that Emma was fussy but I noticed that the hair dryer made her stop crying so I just left it running on the floor of the bathroom while I finished my hair. haha! Hey, I'll try anything to avoid the screaming.

I'm really trying hard to not say "I can't wait till she's ___ old." I want to enjoy this now. It's my first kid and I'm savoring the little things :-)

We had her two month appointment last week. Did I already blog on that? I think I did. But I don't think I talked about vaccines. I really hate how you are scared into it either way. Scared to not vaccinate in case they get sick and scared to vaccinate because of the risks of maybe it causes autism, rheumatoid arthritis, diabetes. . . or allergic reaction. We sat in the patient room a loonnnnng time and luckily our doctor was patient and went through the information. I had googled plenty on it and had scared myself pretty good with the horror stories out there of allergic reaction or seizures that some kids have. In nursing school, my mentality was "absolutely, every child should be vaccinated." But it's tottalllly different when it's your child. It just is. So we did not vaccinate for polio or Hepatitis B. We did the others mainly because I work in a hospital and can potentially bring bad germs home. I feel confident, though, with Emma receiving breast milk and staying home 90% of the time, that she will not get sick much.

Hopefully I will write again soon!

Oh, oh, one more thing. The song "Tik Tok" by Kesha is soooo ridiculously stupid but dang catchy! It's been in my head all day. Ok, the end!

Oh yeah. This is the life

The last two nights, Emma has slept 5+ hours. She has been sleeping in our bed because she squirms so much that she flails herself awake and would only sleep 4 hours at most and I would lay with my hands on her to keep her arms down and keep her still. Discovered the swaddle me wrap thing. Um. Freaking awesome. It wraps her up tight, she can't kick out of it and she sleeps so much longer! My boobs are not happy. They hurt like crap when we wake up but that's fixable. Sleep is divine! So last night I kept her in our bed just to make sure it would work again and it did! So tonight, we'll try sleeping in the pack 'n play and then maybe this week we'll graduate to the crib (!!!) I'm so excited. :-D

Emma has her two month old appointment on Thursday (even though she's ten weeks old (MD couldn't get us in till then)) Which reminds me. I'm not totally sold on this doctor. She's nice but I want someone I can talk to. I always feel like she's talking so fast.

She's stirring so I have to type quickly! Mornings are going well, too. She really wakes up around 7:30ish and at that time I put her in her bouncer with the vibration. She likes that and will sit there for a good 15 minutes. Just long enough for me to get a few chores done, etc. Then she eats again and falls asleep around 10 for her morning nap. Wakes up around noon (except today it looks like it will be 11:30, haha!) and then we run any errands then we have a sort of fussy afternoon with off and on crap sleeping.

That's my update for this week!

Absence made my heart grow fonder

First weekend back to work has passed. Friday night I cried sooo much and then in the car on the way to work Saturday morning and then again when the girl I got report from asked me how the baby was. :-) Two things I learned: I really, really hate pumping. I really love breastfeeding. I think I had to get away from it to realize I do indeed feel a connection with her and love calming her down and letting her eat. Saturday night's breastfeeding went sooo freaking well. It was truly a blessing. All of Sunday I just thought about how I wanted to get home and share that time with her. I had a bunch of questions for Mellanie, the lactation consultant that I worked with and she hasn't been great about emailing me back. But, this weekend she did write back and it was nice to have feelings validated and general advice.

One concern is sleep on the weekend. I worked off adrenaline just fine on Saturday but Sunday. . . wow. I was so tired. And I got a little crapped on, too!! (Not literally! haha. Though, it does happen in my job). I started out with two pt's that were seemingly easy but they were so busy! And then they gave me a third pt at 11. Admitting is not fun. I hate all the paperwork. I was so behind. I didn't get to sit down and eat till around 2:30. I don't know how it's going to work with pumping. There were several close calls with clogged milk ducts. I get so busy and before I know it, it's been almost 5 hours since I last pumped. Next weekend will have to be better. I will have to trust my coworkers and let them help me. I feel so bad putting it on them but they reiterate that they understand and tell me to go.

There was a Harry Potter marathon on ABC yesterday and all my pt's were watching it in their rooms. I was so jealous. So, today, I'm going to be really freaking lazy and watch my own marathon of Harry Potter. Hee hee hee!

Well. Here I was trying to psych myself up for this weekend returning to work and found out that my short term disability covers me though July 4th! So now I have the fun weekend and don't have to return until July 10th. Yay! That works out so well. Plans are pending with Mimi and Michael, but I want to see fireworks this year!

Baby life is going well. She's on a pretty good routine of eating every two hours. She is really gaining weight! I can't wait to take her to her two month appointment and weigh her. Her little face just has more chunk to it and the newborn diapers are getting awfully tight! I feel so much more comfortable now with room to breathe on that point.

Let's see. What else is new. We are planning on getting the new iphones but not till next month when the demand has lessened. In true form, though, I dropped Adam's iphone. I will need one of those heavy-duty cases for mine.

Oh oh! The floor! Let me go get the camera so I can post pictures!
Beautiful, right? It really brightens up the room. I had to stay in a La Quinta for three days! It was very noisy, hot and dusty here so they recommended that. I was really stir crazy those days. Thank goodness for HGTV and it's constant good day time television. lol!

Knock on wood

It's going well. I haven't pumped in three days. I have only used an ounce of formula at night when little Miss is just convinced she's still hungry. I don't get that. I think it's just comfort sucking. It's still painful. I'm not sure if that's general soreness or if there's a problem.

I think it's funny that she can sneeze or have the hiccups while BF'ing and not miss a beat. What the. . .?? Do you have a second airway I'm not aware of kid? Talented. No doubt. haha

Here's a sneak peak of some of the newborn photos by Rebekah Greenawalt (www.rebekahgreenawalt.com) Love her! She has done family, engagement, wedding and now newborn pics for us.

It's hard

Screw this. I'm so tired. I can't do it. Starting tomorrow we're switching to formula and dad can stay up and feed you. This is what I tell myself every night around 3 AM. Luckily, Annie told me to never make major decisions between 8 PM and 8 AM. I am so overwhelmed, exhausted, hopeless, helpless, angry and disappointed at night. It is so freaking hard to breastfeed with an oversupply. She latches on and off so much, my boobs hurt so bad and she can't tell when she's finished. She falls asleep, wakes up, gets pissed off because she thinks she's not done. I promise you, little girl, after an hour of this, I'm pretty sure you're done! No luck. She doesn't listen, yet. :-)

Today, I gave my boobs a rest. I pumped all day and just did bottle. I know I'm not the first to go through a "labor of love" for their little one so I'm trying to stay positive and keep going. I have the means to do it. It just sucks right now. It will get better in a few weeks. Say a prayer that my nights will get better. Preferably for the time between midnight and 3 AM. That is when I need the most help. Can you get that specific in a prayer? lol. I know God doesn't mind.

Drum roll please. . .

As of yesterday at Emma's weigh in, she was back to her birth weight 5 lbs 3 oz. I couldn't believe it. I tried not feeding her right before. Some of it could have been poop on board but who cares! I'm happy and feel better. Emma took pity on her mother last night and slept from 1:30-4:00 AM. Thank you, thank you.

They measured her length yesterday, too and she was 18 1/4 inches. I had them measure twice because supposedly at birth she was 18 3/4. So the hospital got it wrong and that really sucks because I wrote that number down in her baby book. Oh well. Technically she's late preemie so on the preemie growth chart she was in the 40-50% range on all her measurements. On the full term growth chart she was < 3 % on everything except her head. lol!! But that's good. We want a big noggin for that brain!

Oh and can I PLEASE stop having the same dream over and over where I think that Emma is in the bed somewhere. I wake up stripping the blankets off the bed. Last night I took the pillow out from under Adam's head. lol! It takes me a while to really wake up and realize it was a dream. Freaks me out every time!

Seems silly to update now. . .

Most everyone knows that I had Miss Emma last week, but we'll talk about it anyway. :-)

Emma Claire Hedgpeth born May 21, 2010 (Just in time to be a Gemini!) 5 lbs 3 oz. As of Thursday, she weighed 4 lbs 13.5 oz, and that is on the rise from her lower weight 4 lbs 12 oz. I got the call last Thursday after test results from my 24 hour urine screen showed 1 gram + protein in my urine. Which is a lot. I was diagnosed with preeclampsia and the doctor on call thought it best to induce me right then because it is a fine line to cross into eclampsia which can lead to seizures from my high blood pressure. Luckily, I progressed really well and labored for 8 hours then delivered her in 9-12 pushes. :-D



Started out breastfeeding and she was actually doing well for a 36 weeker but I got discouraged when she was losing weight and I switched over to formula for a few days. I found that switching between pumped milk and formula that she was spitting up more after formula so I made the decision Wednesday to do solely pumping and feeding. I want to work back to breast feeding. That's the goal.

Hans' one year old birthday was yesterday. I wish we had a little more to give him but with the baby, it was just a small affair of putting a big thing of yogurt in his morning meal (He loovves yogurt) and then put the adorable birthday boy hat on him but he freaked out, shook it off his head and decided to start eating it. I got a few pictures. :-)



Last night, Adam's dad and stepmom came over and watched Emma while we went out to dinner for the first time. We went back to McCormick and Shmick's. That was the restaurant we were at when we got the call that Emma needed to be delivered right then. So it was neat to have a nice meal and talk back on that moment. It doesn't feel like it's been only a week. It feels like muccchhhh longger. lol. Luckily, she will sleep for 2-3 hours sometimes and we can get naps, too.

Still waiting on the flooring order to get in and then they will fix the floor.

Had Emma's first at home bath last night. It was fun! It's a lot of hassle to bathe just a little bitty baby, though. Seems like it should be easier!

I'd like to know, too

Well. Another week. Another appointment and it's still just waiting and seeing. They are def going to induce me before my due date the question is just WHEN. My blood pressure sucks except when I'm on my left side. It gets pretty high here at home. 162/109 was last night (sitting) then 140/80 on left side. So, yes, it is getting worse and I am showing some protein in my urine. But my labwork so far is always good (meaning that I'm not developing worsening symptoms of HELLP Syndrome where the high BP would be affecting my platelets and liver, etc) I turned in my 24 hour urine collection on Tuesday but haven't heard back yet on the results. As of yesterday, not knowing the lab results, my doc was only planning for another sono for this coming Tuesday and do a biophysical profile. I know she's fine in there. She doesn't seem to mind one bit that my BP is high. But my body minds! And I really don't know if I'm asking for something better by her being out of me. . . because then I'll have a kid. . . and I'd probably just say "put her back, put her back!" lol

The floor situation: We have about 8 samples of flooring in our living room and we need to pick one. Once we do, it can take 7-10 days for the order to ship and then it will take them 2 days to install. Not bad. Once I know some exact dates, I will be happy to invite in-laws over so they can help us move some stuff! ;-)

Adam is just working away and doing well. Hans is just being his normal, lovable self this morning. Taking him to the dog park every day has really helped wiht his rowdiness and helped build more muscle tone. It's nice to see!

They are going to replace all the wood flooring. This will be a two day process and we will not have to be out of the house! The guy is super great working with us and wants to get it done quickly knowing the baby is on the way. :-) They will move all the large furniture but we have to move the little stuff. Eek!

Will write more soon. Thanks for thinking about me!

floor fiasco

So what we initially thought was a foundation problem, has turned into a huge mess. On Friday, we noticed some unleveling with the living room floor. Saturday we woke up to a huge balloon in the floor. I think the best way to describe it is that it looks like a little torpedo is sitting under there. On Sunday, with the help of family, we realized it may be a water leak. So we went home that night, took the grate off from under the A/C unit and sure enough, it was all soaking wet. So Monday I dropped a load for fans and a dehumidifer and mold/mildew treatment and for the A/C to be fixed. Tuesday, the State Farm guy came out. Today, the flooring guy came out and said it would either have to be replace all the wood in the living room, hallways and the two front rooms or it would be a patch work type job with re-sanding and re-staining, in which case we would have to be out of the house for 5-10 days. Yes, insurance would cover the hotel but still. Holy crap. One month until a baby arrives and we get stuck with all of this? And you're telling the mom who has already nested and gotten her baby room ready that everything has to be moved out and redone? Geez. Oh and Hans. I guess we'd have to kennel him all that time. I didn't think about that. Poor buddy.

Pray that they have to replace all the floors with new flooring. I don't think we have to be out of the house in that scenario. Anyway. So life is stressful still even for this bed-rester.

Appointment tomorrow. My BP's at home have still been quite high but all my lab work came back okay last week, so that's a definite plus.

Ironic or Just Life?

Funny that my triggers for anxiety and depression are guilt and a subsequent feeling of loss of control. By funny, I mean ironic. . . and by ironic, I'm realizing it may just be life as it unfolds? What mom doesn't feel guilty and out of control of their own lives? This high blood pressure thing has been really hard on me because I know I can't control it and there's not too much I can do to help it. I've been watching the salt intake and laying in bed a lot but it doesn't seem to help. Good thing is, Emma doesn't seem to mind at all. She's just chillin' and kickin' and keeping up a good heart rate. For me, it kills me. I get bored, I feel guilty and then pessimistic about how it's not going as planned. Here's something you may or may not know: I like to be in control. And I like to be right. And I'm a know-it-all with work. Okay, so throw that in too. I'm a nurse and it kills me that I don't know what's going on with my body or that I don't know the answer. I'm not L&D. I'm hearts. So going from knowing a lot about my profession to very little is annoying. And I also get nervous about returning to work and how slow I'm going to be because I will have lost my routine and organization skill. Ugggh. I know this is all jumbled. I'm more writing for me right now. It's just hard. I want it to be easier. I know it doesn't get easier but yeah. . .

Update

This is the Hansinator enjoying bed rest much more than I do! haha!

BP was much better today. 130/90 sitting. Bed rest and low salt diet works. Who knew? :-) Good thing is, going back to work is such an extreme of activity that I get to stay on bed rest. Exciting times and I faxed all my paperwork in to my HR today. Oh and the sonogram looked great. Still a girl! ;-)

My showers were AWESOME and I'm still getting things in the mail. Emma's room is so beautiful because of the wonderful DIY projects my friends and family did. That makes life easy, let me tell ya!

The little brown plaque on the shelf says "You are my sunshine, My only sunshine." One of my favorite songs and I plan on singing it to Emma alll the time :-)



I haven't really done much outside of showers and doctor and bed rest lately so this will be a short post!

Ugh! Hans just came out of the bathroom chewing on my toothbrush. Ugggggggh. Time to go!

"I'm just a bill. . . sittin here on capitol hill"

Yep, just sitting around . . . most of the time. Sadly, it's only been five days and the days run together. I track by TV shows I've watched the night before. 30 Rock was so funny last night. I paused the tv so many times to just laugh out loud at the hilarious jokes. (Liz- I just got back from singles dodgeball. Jack- Good God, Lemon.) I know you have to see it in context but still. So funny!

Had my work shower yesterday and it was great! I was so worried there wouldn't be many presents, but we got some great, useful stuff! I am so excited. I put all of it in Emma's room last night. I have been getting a few things in the mail, too. :-)

I woke up so motivated this morning to finish touching up some spots with paint but then Hans completely wore me out. Seriously, I don't know what's wrong with him. His schedule could just be off because the last two days, Adam hasn't stayed up late or played Call of Duty (Shocking!). I woke up early and took him outside to pee and he did at 5:30. I go in there at 8:3o and he had peed a little. What the heck??? Give me a break Hans! So then we play the dance of don't step in the urine. . . okay, you stepped in it, now don't run all over the house. . . ahhhh, not the bedroom! I cried. I'll admit it. What am I going to do with a baby and a rogue dog? He really is good 80-90% of the time. No really, he is. I know I complain a lot and only tell you when he's done bad things, so I know you are skeptical. He turns a year old in May. Right now I think his wiley-ness is due to puppy mind set.

Blood pressure was still high at my Tuesday appointment. Have another appointment next week and selfishly, I am glad, because I get another sonogram! I have been so paranoid lately that Emma will come out a boy. I even had a dream about it last night! So this will just help allay those fears.

Pregnancy Induced Hypertension

I've got it. Didn't have any of the risk factors for it, but I've got it. Was at work yesterday, as I had written previously, I was covering a Sunday shift for a friend, and a coworker said I looked more puffy than usual. Over the last two/three weeks, yes I have felt more puffy in my legs and feet. My toes look like little sausages sometimes and I haven't been wearing my ring for a long time. So, anyway, he said he could see it in my face and asked if I my blood pressure is high. Being the curious nurse I am, and when I finally got a chance to sit down that morning and check it, it was indeed high. 150/92. I was trying to be inconspicuous about it by going into an empty pt room but my high blood pressure set off the alarms and everyone at the desk saw it. lol! I think it made it worse everyone knowing because they're all nurses and they all know it's bad. Got my patient's covered, finished charting while I waited for my OB to call me back. Thank goodness he was the person on call and not someone I didn't know. He told me to come up to the L&D to have some tests done. I didn't know that meant being admitted for a short while! I don't like being the patient. (wah, wah, wah, right?) After four hours, all the tests came back okay which was good but even with just laying there, the blood pressure stayed up. So I was discharged home on modified bedrest and I guess I'll learn more after my appointment with the OB tomorrow.

Bedrest. Ugh.

Just had to share. . .

So, I was vacuuming yesterday and instead of hand cleaning the breakfast table, I took the attachment of the vacuum and began suctioning the table. lol! One of my ted hose stockings (those tight hospital stockings) was on the table and it got suctioned up!! It was hilarious. I was so tired I just kept going. I'll just have to get a new pair.

:-)

I don't know what drew more attention today at Arbor Hills Nature Preserve: Hans or the obviously pregnant woman walking Hans. It was Hans' first trip to a park with lots of people and he did SO good! It was stimulation overload at first and lots of little people running around but then we got used to it and we were very interested in all the new grass and flower smells. Found out that he loves playing in the creek, so now we're thinking about getting a kiddy pool just so he can jump in some water!

I offered to switch a weekday for a weekend shift for a friend at work so I only work Monday and Friday this week. I am sooo relieved and going to take full advantage because it HURTS to work/walk. And I do a lot of walking at work. Adam and I were at dinner one night last week and he asked, "I wonder what would be harder: waitressing or being a nurse while pregnant." My mouth fell open and I said "What do you think I DO all day???" I'm a waitress AND a nurse. It's awful for a pregnant person. It's mostly round ligament pain coupled with lovely sciatic nerve shooting pain every once in a while. The PT at work gave me a few stretches to do and they work in the moment but once I start walking around again for a while, it hurts. I'm planning on working up until the day, so just pray that I can make it. I have scheduled myself M, W, F for the next two months so I don't have to work back to back at all.

We are still having a hard time pinning down one middle name. The first name was so easy! Here are the options:

1. Emma Ann (Ann is my middle name, my mom's middle name and Adam's mom's middle name. It would be kinda cool to pass that on, but Ann isn't my favorite name.)
2. Emma Alice (Adam's mom's first name which I love)
3. Emma Ruth (We originally liked this because we would call her "Emma-Ru" and then we also found out that it's my grandma's middle name so that would be nice, too. It's also the middle name of a dear family friend and that would be fitting, too)
4. Emma June (I have a Great Aunt June and I have just always loved her and her name)
5. Emma Abigail (Newest of the pack. Adam likes the name Abby)
6. Emma Evelyn or Emma Evie (My favorite name before becoming pregnant was Evie. I would have made Eve her first name but I didn't want the forever joke of "Adam and Eve" my husband and daughter

What do you think?

"You'll understand when you get there"

As you grow up, you hear this statement many times. And every time you hear it, it is reeeeeallly annoying. But then you climb the ladder of events: college, marriage, baby and you come to find, it's true. And there's just no better way of saying it. So now I do truly believe those who have gone before me when they say this and I will be patient and not be annoyed. I will understand when I get there and I will heed the advice I am given.

I am really missing biking today. It is so beautiful and that off road trail in Plano would be sooo perfect right now. Alas, I am pregnant. Maybe next Spring!

So things have been really great the last six weeks. I cannot complain! There has been occasional sciatic nerve pain but not bad. I'm going to go buy a belly band tomorrow because I think it will really help at work. Sometimes my belly just craaaaamps up and it hurts but I can't tell if it's because I have to pee or just because.

I definitely have gotten my appetite back! I want to eat evvverything. Right now, macaroni and cheese sounds good, along with a grilled stuffed burrito. :-)

This post is really boring but I wanted to let you know that I'm happy and feeling good. I'm in the "I could so do this again" phase. A good place to be.

I'm Freee!!! Shhhh!!!

Hans writing in!

Day 249. I have loved living with mommy and daddy. As I sit in my kennel tonight, wishing I was out chasing squirrels, I can't help but think about milkbones and their nutritional. . . . . . Hold on! What is this ? Oh my god. Dad left the door open. Should I get out? They really like me to stay in my kennel at night. . . . But maybe he meant to leave it open! Maybe he'll get up before mommy in the morning and it will just be our little secret! . . . No. That's not it. Mommy is always up first. Hmmm. What to do? Maybe I'll just try to poke it with my nose. . . ::SKRREECCH:: No! Dang they need to WD40 that door. . . Ok, it didn't wake them up. Alright I'll try again, slowly. . . slowwwwwllllly. Oh my god I'm free!

Oh, oh, oh! My second favorite thing in the world! They left the bathroom door open! Why they refuse to let me drink from this ever-giving spring, I will never know. ::Shutters:: ohhhh the water is sooooo good.

Mommy and daddy's door is open. Hmmm. I don't think I'll visit them tonight. I think I'll just go to my couch and sprawl. Mommy and daddy say that it's my couch. That is so very sweet of them. It must not have been expensive. . . I think I'll just lay here and close my eyes just. . . for a. . . second. . . .

AhhhhH!!! Mom's up! I slept too long! Ok, ok, ok. Look sweet. . . . Ok, she's not buying it. Look innocent! Ok. . . it's sort of working. . . she's not yelling, yet. . .

Mommy to daddy: Did you mean to leave Hans out?
Daddy to mommy: What? No! What did he chew up??

Chew up? I would. . .NEVER, sir! I mean. I know my past with papertowels hasn't been entirely clean but . . . chew . . . up. . . gah. I'm offended!

Mommy to daddy: Nothing that I can see. Hans is just on the couch.
Daddy to mommy: Hans, the escape artist.

Escape artist. I like it! I shall now introduce myself to all my friends as Hans Houdini! I will tell of my great escape and tell them some day they too can escape from their kennels.

I sure hope mommy and daddy take me to a park today. I wonder if they know the weather will be good or not. Till next time!

WehadababyEETSagirl

Ok, so my blog theme is so perfect. And what' s funny is I chose it before I knew I was pregnant. It goes really well with the bedding we have chosen. We are just doing the bedding. My best friend Erin is making me a birdie mobile. Oh, P.S. It's a girl. But I think everyone knows that! :-)

It was amazing that when the doc said it's a girl, her whole life flashed before my eyes and I PANICKED! So now that I know she's healthy, I have to worry about her life, her decisions, our relationship. Ugh. Stress!

Here's the link for the bedding. I love it!

http://www.bananafishinc.com/prodpg.php?product_id=1185

I could make millions!

I seriously could create a board game, a-la shutes and ladders-esque out of the maladies and funnies of pregnancy. I created it while I awoke this morning and had to chose between eating or peeing. Your bladder hurts so bad. Real bad. But if you don't eat this minute, you will barf. Which do you choose? Ease your bladder? Oh, sorry. You've thrown up because you waited too long to eat. Go back 9 spaces. You choose to eat? Heh, heh. Eat in pain!! Go back 2 spaces. Oh and don't give me that whole "I'll eat a few bites and then run to the bathroom and then make it back to eat" routine. No, no. You're cereal just got mushy! You lose. Muhahaha. Oh, you peed really fast and your cereal's not mushy? TOO BAD! You didn't empty that last 5 cc's of urine out of your bladder so now you are plagued with pain again. Bah! Go back 4 spaces.

See? Fun, right? It could start out all fun like, "you're pregnant, yay! Advance 10 spaces. You made it to your second trimester? Great! Advance another 5 spaces. What? Oh you're still nauseous? Go back 5 spaces. You suck at life."

I could make millions with this game. That's it! I'm quitting my day job and throwing our life savings into a patent and crew to create said board game.

Wait, what? Pregnant women would rather play solitaire to get them through their nights of insomnia? DAMN! Plan foiled again.

;-)

Ok that was the end of the note, but I keep thinking up more things.

Your taco was delivered without cheese and you start to cry. Go back 5 spaces and shoot your hormones. THERE'S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL! Oh. . .sorry, wrong movie.

Ahem. Oh and the proper thing to say to a preggo who is suffering is "I hope it get's better." NOT, "It will get better." I was discussing this with a friend and I feel the need to put it out there. Will it get better??? Will it??? Where's your crystal ball??? . . . . LOL. That's another one. You've just b**ched out a friend. Go back 10 spaces you horrible, horrible person!

hee hee hee. This is purely for my own sarcastic enjoyment and do not wish for your sentiments or pity (unless of course, you just wish to say "oh Courtney, you're so funny.) lolz. The end!