Am I tired, part deux

Last week in the shower, put conditioner in my hair, set down the conditioner bottle, got the loofa, picked the conditioner back up, put it on the loofa, set the conditioner down, turned around, realized my mistake, washed off the loofa, turned around, picked up the conditioner and put more in my hair. . . aaaagggghhhh. What is wrong with me?

That's it. I think about things to blog about but right now I can't remember any of it.

The end.

Am I tired?

Yes, yes I am. ;-)

But, it's really not that bad. Ethan is one great eater and sleeper and farter and pooper. His farts are so loud that Adam and I daily question where said fart comes from: Hans, Emma, Ethan, ourselves??? lol

I didn't think I was tired until Emma walked by while I was sitting on the couch and I picked her up because I was ready to nurse Ethan. I laid her down on the pillow and went "whoops, wrong baby!" She sure thought mommy was funny. :-)

Ethan was 9 lbs 5 oz at his two week appointment. That's more than an ounce a day of weight gain. Go buddy!

Having Adam home has been wonderful. We got the great idea that we wanted our living room changed RIGHT NOW. lol. The last week, our living room has been off limits during the day so that our contractor guy, Travis, can move around the surround sound system in the ceiling, texture the ceiling, paint the ceiling, run all the wiring for the entertainment center behind the chimney and hang the tv above the mantle.

Needless to say, the Christmas decorations did not get put up this year. ::sigh:: That's okay. Next year will be fabulous ;-) We are moving one of the sofa's into the playroom and one sofa will remain in front of the fireplace/tv area. The rest of the living room will have a dining table in it. It's a really massive room that we just need to use more functionally so ta-da that's what we decided. We got tired of playing the highchair-shuffle game everyday in the kitchen. It's pretty exciting.

I'm ready for the next project which will be one of the following:

New fence. Shed in backyard. New flooring for the patio. Patio furniture. Designated spot for grill. Get new grill.

Kitchen remodel. Take down brick wall facade (I know Erin, you're upset, but this will open it up so much more.) New cabinets, new countertops, a few new appliances to replace old-most-likely-from-1979 appliances.

Exciting times at the Hedgpeth household! Stay tuned.

The Birth

We had Ethan on Friday, November 25th at 5:43 PM. I went into labor that morning around 6 AM, I think. I kept thinking my cramps and pains were because I had a full bladder. (Happens a lot when pregnant. Everything's pushing on each other and hurts because your bladder is full.) So I kept getting up to the restroom but would come back to bed and the pain would come back. Around 7 I thought, "oh maybe these are contractions." I began timing them. They were a little inconsistent but otherwise were about seven minutes apart. I didn't know when to stop timing them. There was a lot of what I would call residual pain. There would be the intense peak of the contraction but then it would linger for a long time. So some of the contractions I would time would be 2 minutes long. That didn't sound right to me so I thought it could be false labor. I laid in bed until 8 (Thanks Emma for sleeping in!) and woke up Adam and let him know that today might be the day. He just smiled and we discussed it further. There was no bolt out of bed "rage" reaction. :-)

Around 9:30, I took a bath. Erin told me that she had heard that if you take a bath and still have contractions after that then it's labor, else the contractions would go away with the relaxing hot water. I tried to relax in the bath but I continued to contract and started getting emotional because I couldn't believe this day was here. What the crap am I going to do now? This is my last day with Emma alone? No, it can't be. :-/

Around 11, I accepted my fate and called my mom to come out and watch Emma. My contractions were five minutes apart but didn't last long, maybe 30-45 seconds. I kind of did the opposite. My contractions lasted longer in the beginning and got shorter for a while. I thought that meant maybe my contractions were floundering and it could still be false labor. Eh. Called the doctor and let him know we'd be on our way soon.

After a bumpy, uncomfortable ride in the challenger to the hospital, we got to our room and settled around 1:30. I was so bummed when they checked and I was only 5 cm. Almost 8 hours of contractions and I only progressed 1 cm? Dang. I labored a while longer without epidural. When I was ready for it, I told the guy I wanted only a partial dose. I was completely numb with Emma and I wanted this time to be different and be able to still know when a contraction was starting. My anesthesiologist rocked and gave me exactly what I wanted. I felt a lot of the birth. Probably 50-60% I'm guessing. I think that's kind of ideal.

Got the epidural around 3, I think. Soon after, they broke my water and things progressed quickly. Had the baby at 5:43. We took a few days to decide on the name, much to the social worker's chagrin. She had to come in on her day off on Sunday. Who doesn't need to name a baby on a Sunday?? lol. Why is there no social worker that day? Anywho. He looked a lot like an Ethan. While my favorite name is still Andrew, I think it fits him the best. Ethan Andrew Hedgpeth was 8 pounds, 11 ounces. (Holy crap! Good thing this happened a week and a half early or I would have been pushing out almost ten pounds!)

What's funny is I have told my doctor this entire pregnancy that I was thinking he'd be a Thanksgiving/turkey-induced baby. I didn't quite believe myself but apparently I knew what I was talking about ;-)

Here's a few more pictures. We used a birth photographer this time around. It was nice to have these moments captured and not have to worry about getting all those "firsts" pictures.

I know these pictures are a little invasive but I really like them :-)

Oh right. Emma came up that night. She didn't stay long since it was close to bed time. I would describe her as stoic that night. She just didn't know what to make of it all. She didn't want to be in the bed with me, so Adam held her.

Now, she's super cute with him. She pats his head and gives him kisses. She has her moments of wanting to be held by momma when I'm holding the baby but overall, it's been a good transition.

Love you all. I'll try to write again soon.

What the what? Chicken butt

4 cm dilated at appointment today. Things are just trucking along. Apparently I'm just a ticking time bomb and Adam thinks I should have training pads underneath me at all times. Apparently the thought of my water breaking grosses him out. It's so not like the tv/movies, honey. It'll be okay. . .

APPARENTLY next week is Thanksgiving. (I had to use the word one more time.) I really had no idea. Halloween just happened yesterday, right? I have just had this baby on my mind way too much to even think about Thanksgiving. Luckily, mostly all I have to do is show up to the two dinners we are going to. I'm making some rolls, I think, for my mom's house. No biggy.

What's more important though, next week, is Erin and I going to see Twilight. ;-) Jusssst kidding about it being more important. It IS exciting, though! The books are good. The movies are terrible but you just can't NOT go see it.

Last time with Emma, I had planned to have my hair done and what not right before she was born. Since she was early, it never happened. So it was goal this time to have that done because I won't be going and getting my hair done for a lonnng time. Plus, people take pictures when you've had a baby and dammit, your hair should look nice, am I right? So, I went tonight after my doctor's appointment and I feel much better.

I've packed a bag and the bassinet is ready and the baby room is mostly ready. There's just a mild "honey-do" list for the hubsters and his brother this weekend and then I'll be happy with the house.

Baby's coming. Look prepared!

No one panic. . .

Had my 36 week appointment today and was 3 cm dilated. It didn't really phase me until I was in the car on the way home. 3 cm?? What does that mean? How long? Crap, I'm not ready! Came home and went to my trusty google search. Mayo Clinic says:

Dilation isn't a good indicator of when labor will begin, but rather a general sign that you're getting ready for labor. Once you're in active labor, expect to dilate more quickly.

I'll take that. Although I'm not totally comforted by this. I'm completely re-examining last week: I got an "energy burst" and did lots of shopping and nesting for baby boy. Does that mean I'm going to go into labor soon? It's not necessarily an old wive's tale and not scientific fact either. However, this week, I'm so freaking tired. I fall asleep on the floor playing with Emma every day this week. (It's only for a few minutes. She'll push a musical toy and I'm right back up again.)

Anywho, so now I'm wondering, should I pack a bag? Do I need to prepare? Nursing tops, medela pump, pj's, oh my!! All of these things just make me go, "aaaccckkk" in my head. Am I really about to have a newborn? Noooooooooo. I'm so scared of the crazy. Crazy no sleep. Crazy hormones. Crazy hungry baby. Crazy Emma getting jealous. I can't do this. I change my mind, God. ::sigh:: Not really. I want this baby boy so badly . . . . Most of my prayers have just been for patience for the coming weeks. Lots. And Lots. Of prayers for patience. And for God to help me be a good mother and wife. I'm going to need so much help. . . On one hand I think I tend to overreact though. I was dreading today because I hate this appointment. I hate the cervical check because they're painful. I had completely psyched myself out and was almost crying before the doctor even did anything. And it wasn't that bad. So maybe I'm psyching myself out for this new baby. Maybe it won't be that bad. At least I know sort of what I'm doing. Right? Right? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller? ::sigh::

So here we are. Last month. Baby's coming. Look prepared!

the baby journey

About a month to two months ago, I made a birth plan. I wanted to get on paper the many possibilities and options that I might have to deal with. Plan A was if everything went well and I went into labor on my own and what I wanted that to look like: me staying at home and laboring for a while, maybe take a walk outside, take a hot shower, make our way to the hospital. Plan B was if I had high blood pressure again: I'd be induced early, probably be similar to last time. Plan C was if I had placenta previa which was a concern on my 20 week sonogram. My placenta was super close to my cervix and if it didn't move away, then I'd have to have a c-section. Plan D was f*&( all. Just go with the flow.

So plans B & C are not an issue. My blood pressure has been spot on. No problems at all. At this point, last time, I had been on bedrest for two weeks already. My sonogram on Monday which was to look at my placenta and cervix placement went well. My placenta is a good 5 cm away from the cervix and that means I don't have to have a c-section.

So I pretty much had perma-grin on Monday. I just feel weight lifted off. We can just proceed forward and now we wait. The biggg, longgg wait.

I am REALLY okay with this little boy cooking as long as he wants. I'm totally fine with handling just one baby and sleeping through the night. :-)

I'm very stressed when I think about the up all nighters I'm going to have. I'm stressed about Emma yelling because she wants to be picked up and held. . . . . . but I know it will pass. The craziness will pass. Six months down the road, it will be better. And even years down the road, Emma will have this forever playmate and I hope they will be close. . . . and then when ready, we'll throw a third into the mix. lol. But not as close together as these two, I don't think. I'd like some in between time where I can have my body back and have a margarita.

Baby shower on Saturday. Very exciting. Next week, painting little boy's room and assembling the crib. It's getting so close! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Making Hay

A story where I win is always worth sharing:

I was dropping Adam back off at work after we had our little family outing to Starbucks (Emma and I go visit Adam at work a couple times a week to go get coffee and hang out. It's good daddy/daughter time plus I get a little break from the little monster. . . I mean precious angel. :-D) So we're saying our goodbyes and Adam says, "Gotta get back to makin' hay."

I laugh and say, "You know that means like sex, right?"

He says, "No, it doesn't. You're thinking of 'making whoopee'."

I say, "No, of course not. Everyone knows what 'making whoopee' is. This is a real thing. I've heard it in a musical, for instance." (Side note: It's from Annie. The scene is Carol Burnette (side note, side note: LOVE HER) in her skivvies trying to seduce Daddy Warbucks and she sings, "Let's you and me make, Why shouldn't we make haaaaay?" (Side note, side note, side note: This song was in my head ALL day from then on. That is until Adele's, Someone Like You came on. Damn you, Adele and your catchy chorus.)

Well, I'm clearly not believable now. I've heard it in a silly musical. So, we check ye' old google and "making hay" is on urbandictionary (a MUCH more reliable source than a musical) as an alternative phrase for making love. I WIN! HA!

So, fast forward to tonight at 11:15 PM when I am still wide awake from consuming my coffee at 1:30 PM this afternoon. Yay pregnancy! Yay sensitivity to caffeine because I never drink it much! I'm 8 months pregnant. When the hizz-ell did that happen?? Geez.

I'm getting the nesting bug. I am bound and determined to have the room taped off this week so we can paint this week or weekend. My coworkers threw me a baby shower a couple of weekends ago and it was so sweet. I had no idea they were doing that :-). So now I have clothes and blankets and no where to put them. Ugh! I don't like this at all.

Got my hair cut and done about a week ago. I really wanted to chop it all off. I've done this probably three times in my life and I've been okay with how it looks. Sure, I'm like anyone and want to grow it out pretty quickly afterwards but I like it while I have it. My hair dresser flat out said, "I am not chopping off your pregnant lady hair." She meant she was not doing this because pregnant women are fickle and usually like to tie their hair back anyway to get it out of their face. I couldn't help but agree but told to cut off more than an inch and I was satisfied. I darkened the color a bit too because for some reason my hair is growing in darker than usual. Not sure if it's the pregnancy or the season. The blonde highlights were looking much too bleachy up next to the roots. Not a look I'm a fan of. So time to change.

Ta-ta!

Another cramp in that same left leg last night. This time, though, Adam woke up fully and was able to bring my toes towards me. The pain was so insane, I could not will myself to move my foot or toes. I was just locked. It's my fault. I didn't drink enough water over the weekend. Emma didn't eat all her banana this morning so I ate it off the tray. haha.

I've been so ready to get this baby room done and Adam is dragging his feet. He knows the baby will be in our room for the first few months so he wants to wait to do major things to the room. But I NEED to nest. I need to know there's a space for this baby boy. ::sigh::

. . . I've had some funny stories recently that I've stopped and noted that I need to blog about it. . .and of course, right now, I can't remember a single one. Sorry, short post!! ><

Broke down body

Early Sunday morning, I was woken by a god awful charlie horse in my left calf. I can't recall the last time I screamed out in pain. . . EVER. It was soooo painful. My screams woke up Adam (or so I thought). He sat bolt up straight in bed. . . now. . . this next part I'm not sure whether to thank my BIL John or Call of Duty in general. . . Adam sat bolt up straight in bed and said "Yeah, let's rage!!"

I was blinded by pain, I wasn't really phased by this. I just pleaded "what do I do? What do I do???" At this point, Adam mumbled something, laid back down and went back to sleep.

He recalls nothing of this the next morning. He only recalls me waking him up and telling him to quit snoring, which was true. That did happen. :-)

So I guess if I'm woken in the night with contractions and yell out then I can expect a speedy and quick response of "Yeah, let's rage!" by Adam. . . . in which case it's sort of appropriate. haha :-)

My leg is so sore after that cramp experience. It feels like I've put it through a marathon and then gone and lifted weights with it. It hurts to walk. I took some tylenol but that didn't help. Man, I have never had this happen before. I'm just increasing my fluids and being better about taking my vitamin. Geez Louise!

So then today, as if I'm not beaten down enough already, I run to the Chick fil A bathroom (Adam was outside in the van in the drive through. We swapped out seats since I had let him go to the restroom first in the Chick fil A. . . . Yeah, we're just classy like that.) I run in there and hit my left arm on the stupid bag holder hook on the door of the stall. This "dead-legged" my arm. I verbally yelled out again. Thank goodness no one was in there. I'm sure I would've made them laugh. I probably sounded ridiculous.

I go back out to the van (no longer in line, but waiting at the service window. Sweet!) I get in and Adam tried to hand me the bag of food. . . . I can't even grip the bag my arm is so numb and in pain!!

Seriously can I not catch a break? Adam just laughs at me and I don't hold it against him because I'm laughing, too! Just call me Gimpy McGee!

So how far along are you?

Is it weird that I'm not really keeping track this time around? It was so important with Emma. I knew down to the day how many weeks I was. Now when asked, I respond with an ever enlightening "uhhhhhhhhh . . . 26ish weeks?" (A la "I'm Ron Burgundy?")

I told my chiropractor the other day that I was 29 weeks when she asked. Dude, I got home and actually looked and I was really 27 weeks. lol. Just a SMIDGE off. I guess I really should keep track but I'm just not crazy about it this time. I read the little email that gets sent to me sometimes that tells what my baby is doing that week; what's growing, etc. And it is nice to know. I think I'm just in that "been there, done that, I'm a pro" mindset.

Not a horrible place to be. I'm more nervous about what happens AFTER this little boy gets here. I'm still in the "a boy, really?" phase. What the heck do I do with a boy? Still can't wrap my head around it. :-)

That's it, I guess on that. Good story. . . lol

So we went to Lauren Lord's wedding tonight. Very fun. Great wedding and Rebekah was doing the photography so it was nice to catch up with her but what was even more fun was getting to talk to people from Grace who knew Adam when he was younger. It's so neat hearing new stories about your husband that you never knew before. Let's see there was Martin and Addy and Dwayne and Sharon that we sat with and then there were some others Adam's age that came up and said hello. You could just tell they were so happy to see Adam and to ask him how his life was going and of course they asked about Michael, too. I dunno. I just thought it was cool. A mini-reunion of sorts. :-)

Did you want to know about Emma Claire?

Oh good! Because this is a post all about her.

Emma Claire AKA Muffin, Baby and Monkey

Last check up: 15 month appt. Weighed in at 22 lbs 4 oz (60%ile) and height was 31 in (50%ile).

Walking? Yes!

Preferred method of getting around? Crawling!

Talking? Yes!

Commonly used words:

Dada

Up

Bye bye

Et (she says et instead of Eat. I think because I sing her the "I like to et, et, et, epples and benehneh's" song)

Dat (instead of That)

Dis (instead of This)

Duck (funny story, see below)

Mmm mmm (She makes the "moo" sound for a cow as a humming noise)

Sssssss (She makes a snake hiss noise for the "buzz" sound for a bee)

Hmm Hmm (Make a dog barking noise as a hum and that's what Emma does. So cute!)

Puh-ple (for purple)

See anything missing from the list? MAMA. She won't say it! It comes out sometimes as "ah-ba" but it's still inconsistent. :-(

Okay, so the funny story is as follows. I go through cussing phases. Sometimes I'm really good at using alternative phrases but during this pregnancy, I've just been bad! So, Emma and I went to go get coffee with Adam on Monday and as I was having trouble pulling into a parking spot in the parking garage and I said "f*** a duck." And the sweetest little, most precious "duck" came repeated back to me from the back seat. Adam and I just looked at each other and laughed. Guess I should start watching what I say! Someday a curse word might come back to me! Eek!

She loves to swing, loves to read books. . . loves to pull all her clothes or diapers out and leave them on the floor in her room. . . .

There's a lot more to tell about this sweet, sweet girl but mommy brain is kicking in and I kinda, sorta just want to be done with this post so I can take a nap. :-0!!! lol. Bye!

Enjoy the videos!

Swing time!

At little gym. Daddy came!

Emma "helping" me with laundry. . .

First haircut video

Martyr muffin after the haircut. Note the one tear on her cheek. Bless her heart; she was provoked!

I'm this close to joining pinterest. Do you have to have an ipad to join? Surely not. Anywho. I haven't joined because I'm afraid I'll get addicted. lol! It is such a nice idea, though. As I am perusing the pottery barn fall catalog, I can't help but dog-ear pages and think of all the wonderful things I want from there. Now. . . wouldn't it be nice to put those into a little picture file and store away for ideas at a later date? Genius. ::sigh::

I don't really have anything else to update about so I will just post some cute pictures:

Emma riding the swing her own way taken about a month ago at the park. Yes, I took my daughter out in this heat. . . but it was shady! And around 7 pm! Don't hate.

My fun day of babysitting the boys for a few hours about a month ago. I texted pictures to Adam and he said "Where's the flood, Levi?" We were in a drought but this boy was prepared for all inclement weather possibilities ;-) Sweetest boy. Here's another cute one:

Levi feeding the baby. Adorable!

Adam has never loved his red cheeks but I do! They passed on to Emma and I'm so glad! She is b-e-a-utiful!

Baby shower

Tentative date for baby shower: October 29th. Not set in stone. :-) But I'm getting excited.

Bedding chosen: Whale theme!

Thought you'd like to see. I love this bedding. It has red, green and shades of blue which give it lots of versatility for room decorating.

Here's some cute pics of Emma Claire. This is her sharing her cheerios with her mama:

And this is Em at swim class. She has been going since March-ish and she holds her breath for 8 seconds under water and has started kicking purposefully, as well, under water. This is her holding herself up on the side of the wall which she does lower her head down but will keep her mouth above water and not let herself go under. Pretty great!

That's all folks.

So what's been going on with me? A whole lotta nothin!

But we've got some busy things coming up:

Sprinkler guy came yesterday. Got a new box to control everything which is cool and a lot more user friendly. I think Adam and I could actually operate this on our own! lol

Today A/C guy came and everything looks good. Not too much Hans' hair clogging the system this time. (The reason our system clogged up and leaked last time, was hair.)

Might go see Erin today! She's back from San Antonio where she's been taking care of her mama who was in a car wreck but is doing a lot better.

Tomorrow is Foundation Fix day!! WOoooo hooooooo. It's about damn time.

Tomorrow is also Terminix day and Little Gym. (Yesterday was Emler day. We love that we do see improvement with Emma swimming and holding onto the wall all by herself but we are going to pick it up again in the Spring and skip the Fall just because next Spring she'll be older and able to go to the next class. Our friend's Scott and Erin here in Dallas have a pool and we're going to be over there a lot keeping Emma's skills up.

Other things going on for August are my next OB appt, Emma's 15 month appt, Hans' yearly appt . . . am I leaving anything out?

Phew! Sounds like enough to me!

Stuff stuff stuff

It's been a busy week so far! Yesterday, I watched my nephews for two hours or so while Annie was up this way in McKinney. Woo! That was a whole new experience! Here are some of the funny things they said. (They're both so well spoken, it's crazy!)

The actual song on the music box thing:

One, two, three

Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight

Then there's nine

Counting's really great

With numbers

When you learn numbers

Then you can count!

Samuel's version:

One, two, three

Four, five, six, seven, eight

Then there's nine

ROCK IT TO THE GATE!

With numbers

And you get dum-bers

And then you count!

Over and over. Loved it.

Samuel decided to sit in Emma's bumbo chair and he got stuck and then told me very calmly: "This hurts my p****" (boy part). So I help him up, try not to laugh. Then Levi gets in and goes "Ah, my p**** is stuck!!" and laughs. So we all laugh. I'm definitely going to have to get used to boys!! lol. I'm not used to so much boy part talk :-)

Today was busy, too. My mom came over to watch Emma because she is off work this week. I went to my 22-ish week appointment for the sono. Adam wasn't able to go because work is really busy and we're also going to the Rangers game on Thursday, so we didn't want to have him away from work too much this week. So I went alone, which is usually more nerve wracking for me but it really was fine. Baby looks awesome. Everything formed well: abdomen, brain, spine, heart. The only downside is that I need another sono at 34 weeks because my placenta is close to my cervix (Placenta previa for you nurse buddies out there.) So, I'm not sure what that buys me, but if it's a c-section then so be it. I feel good about it.

Another bummer was that Dr. Branning hadn't heard anything about putting your placenta into pill form and actually said I couldn't have my placenta anyway. Hospital policy. Um, really? Gosh I can remember even discussing this way back in nursing school and how hospitals were allowing placentas to go home with families due to cultural reasons. So this pretty much all-baby bearing hospital doesn't do it? Totally bummed. He told me to bring him the research, though. And since he's the Chief there now, maybe he can do something about it. I'd feel awesome if I started that for that hospital. Pretty cool.

I didn't know what quite to do with myself for the rest of the day. I never have a day off. I went by Buy Buy Baby and tweaked my registry a bit/went way overboard putting lots of cute little boy onesies on there! Lovvve the onesies. Then, I got my hair done. I love doing that. I feel so much more womanly and pretty afterwards. I actually went to see my girl Jenn at Dear Clark Hair Salon in Dallas since my mom came to watch Emma here. Usually I have to go to Arlington for someone to watch Emma and then go to Burt Grant Salon. I hadn't seen Jenn in almost a year. Crazy! We had a lot to catch up on. I love her. She always gets my eyebrows right. Every other person burns them with wax that's too hot and then it makes me break out.

I went to see Adam after that. We hung out at Starbucks and then I came home for a "nap" (closed my eyes and laid down but didn't sleep). Then we went to Emma's swim class.

Busy two days! Tomorrow should be quiet and then Thursday busy again with us going to see Harry Potter and then to the Ranger's game (mom watching Emma again.)

Let them be little

I missed the whole "Let them be little" post by John but saw Annie's blog and then went to investigate if the BIL's blog was John's. Both good posts.

We did not start doing a sleep schedule with Emma until she was six months old. Nor did we let her "cry it out" until this time. At six months old, we let her start to cry it out for 15 minutes and then go back to her after that time if she was still upset.

The first six months are a complete blur. Here was our arrangement:

For the first ten weeks, Emma was so colicky and cried all the time and during those first few months it's totally normal for them to wake up every two to three hours. We had her in our room in the pack 'n play bassinet thing and it was okay but Adam woke up often and was desperately needing sleep for work. Emma and I moved out to the living room where I slept on the couch and had her in her swing pod beside me. The swing pod helped with her reflux. It kept her at an incline instead of flat. We nursed off and on through the night. Those first ten weeks were REALLY HARD. I had gotten her back to solely bf'ing by six weeks which was my goal. I remember crying every night when the sun went down because I dreaded knowing I was not going to get much sleep at all. And then there were those rare mornings where I would lay Emma on my chest at 4 AM and we both wouldn't wake up till 7:30 or 8 AM. Those were good days. Those first six months, we did not have a sleep schedule. We let Emma dictate her naps. I think the second time around I may try to have more of a schedule? I don't know. Babies do what they want. And they're not supposed to sleep through the night. I think it's ridiculous to think that a baby should. You're actually suppressing their body's cues that it gives them to wake up, "I need milk" so I wake up. Etc. I guess I'm with Dr. Sears on that one. I can't think of the book right now that tries to get your baby sleeping through the night right away but can't think of it. I don't think it's healthy. However, some may say that me giving Emma a schedule at six months isn't healthy. Ah well.

At six months, I read The Sleep Lady's Good Night, Sleep Tight. It was not anti-bf'ing which I liked. I didn't do everything the book told me to do. It just breaks down age ranges and gives you a schedule of what is appropriate. I took the most away from those schedules. Good lord, they helped. By eight months, she was sleeping through the night and in her own crib. (After then ten week drama, we had Emma back in our room, nursing better and back in her bassinet thing.) We had her in our room until Christmas, I think. She hit the 15 pound weight max of the bassinet::halo:: We actually went a little past 15 pounds and so it now has a dip in the center. So I'm getting a different bassinett this next time around. It's called a "co-sleeping" bassinet but I'm not practicing the philosophy. I just think it's highly effective for nursing your baby as soon as they wake up in the night needing food.

That's all for now, I guess. Emma is a great sleeper and may whine for five minutes when being put down (another thing people may take issue with) but then she falls asleep on her own. A note for Erin: She sleeps well at home. When it comes to laying her down at other people's homes, then I think she freaks out from being in a "new" place and mom's not around.

I always think of more to write AFTER I hit publish post.

I would sometimes be so tired in that 10 week to 6 months period where we had Emma in our room that I wouldn't even want to walk the one step to the bassinet after feeding her. So I would lay her in between Adam and I. I never really slept during those periods though. Because (using Annie's saying) I always had one "mama bear" eye open making sure no one rolled over on Emma. Adam would start to and even if I was in that "almost asleep" stage, I immediately woke up and would hit him. lol. It was the only quiet thing to do so as not to wake Emma. I think I harbored a lot of resentment those first six months because I would be so afraid of Emma waking up at night. I just wanted to sleep. And Adam would go into the bathroom and start cutting his finger nails or something which is a totally loud noise and I would just cringe with every little "click" thinking "she's gonna wake up, she's gonna wake up." So I would get upset with Adam. He would get upset when I hit him in the middle of the night reminding him to not crush Emma. lol. It reminds me of that lyric: "It's not always rainbows and butterflies but compromise that moves us along." We figured out what worked for us through those months and were both able to celebrate Emma being in her crib when the time was right.

Same post, different title, and amendments:

I don't have a picture of the van. I'm such a slacker, sorry! We got it last Thursday. David and Melanie came over to watch Emma so we could drive to Denton (same dealership we got the Element at so we like them) and finish crossing the t's and dotting the i's. We got a good trade in value for the Element and where there is usually no wiggle room on honda odyssey's, we got $2000 off the price and we got exactly everything we wanted on it. They've dealt with Adam and I before (they definitely remember us. . . ahhh, my husband, god love him.) :-) And so they didn't put any dealership paraphernalia on the car and we got it right off the truck.

It is a white 2011 honda odyssey (exl?) I think that's the correct model. It has tan leather seats and we got that model because we wanted no entertainment system or navigation.

It. . . is. . . awesome!!! I lurrrrvvvveee the remote doors. I love getting Emma in and out of it. I love that Emma is a little cold when getting her out instead of sweating her little tush off. I love that it drives like a car. I have a hard time remembering that I've got a big caboose back there! I haven't stuck Hans in yet but we've just kept the third row down this whole time for stroller, etc junk. Oh my god, I love it. Love it, love it, love it. Can't say enough good things about it!

Things Adam and I have done in the last month:

Had master bedroom painted

Had dining room painted

Converted dining room from Hans' room to play room with carpet installed over the existing wood (This is good wood. Not like in our living room.)

Changed on knobs on shutter doors from brass to bronze matching the light fixtures

Had new carpet installed in master bedroom and closet

New furniture in the master bedroom. Very grown up looking :-)

Replaced all window blinds in those rooms. Much better looking now.

Bought a minivan

We've had a really busy four weeks, to say the least. I'm 50% more in love with our house now that we've done these things. I love that we have a bedroom now. It's so much more grown up. We still have to get bedside lamps and decorations and curtains. . . and bedding but we're getting there!

Things still left to do till we feel that sense of "ahhh, we're where we want to be with the house"

-Fix foundation on west side of house

-New fence

-Storage shed in backyard

-Rip up back porch. Get rid of odd plants that don't get sunlight under said porch and redo all of it with new back porch, possibly slate. Extend porch out two or three feet to cover area of grass that never gets sunlight and so doesn't grow grass. (Get backyard funiture. Heck, I'll settle for achair).

-Kitchen: counter tops, backsplash, stove, sink, lighting

-New sidewalk. We're trying to wait and see if the plumbing will mess up in front of our house so the city will come fix it and then give us a new sidewalk. It's happened to the three houses to the left of us. Come on plumbing! Burst! Mama wants a new sidewalk!

We had what I thought was going to be our 20 week appointment today with the doctor. Apparently, I'm only 19 weeks. And doc wants to do a sono well after 20 weeks so that he can see heart, spine, brain really well. He made me feel better about getting the sono, so I think I will. Adam gets on to me when I don't ask all my questions but here's my deal: I've been analyzing myself all afternoon to figure out why I go in with a list of questions but leave only asking a few: I'm a nurse. He's a doctor. I've been working with cardiovascular/thoracic surgeons for five years. If you do not speak clearly, concisely and with a purpose then you lose your audience VERY quickly. You don't get what you want and you don't get what you need for the patient. So when I go into appointments I'm quick, to the point, and I literally feel like I have to do this to not upset the doctor. Is it rational? No. Does the doctor want me to feel that way? Of course not. But it's how I've been trained for five years. It's probably not this way on other uints. Say, on a med/surg unit, it's not so high stress. But in my particular line of work, you just have to be on top of it, think quickly, talk quickly, advocate. . . . This is a really hard spot for me. I want to be the on top of it nurse but I'm the patient in this situation. I should be advocating for myself. Asking every single question I have. I'm telling myself that I have to tell him this at the next appointment. I need to tell Adam how I feel even though he may not understand so that he can help me to be strong in the next appointment and WASTE THE DOCTOR'S TIME by asking my questions. lol. Sad that that's how we're bread, eh? Oh well. Sorry for the long post! Thanks for sticking it through to the end!

Amendment 1: Things we've done in the last four weeks:

Um, Duh! Went on vacation! We went to Dripping Springs, Tx with John, Sharon, their two girls and Mimi. Highlights of the trip: The backdoor that wouldn't close. The gorgeous views. The awesome porch breezeway. The cheating that occurred during a tipsy game of Spades but I allowed because 1. I was sober and 2. It usually benefited me! The horrible Austin Zoo. I can appreciate what they do there but I wouldn't call myself a zoo. Call yourself the Austin Refuge and tell people to be prepared to hoof it and live on the wild side. Going into Austin, we went to Zilker Park and had a great time and Emma took one little step on her own. Still waiting for that baby to get a fire lit under her!!

Amendment 2: Things left to do to the house:

Of course, baby room! Got to get rid of the ikea furniture in there, clear it out and start thinking about baby furniture.

John, I don't know how to delete comments, so I deleted the post and reposted it. Hope that works! Hope that's what you were asking for? I dunno. It's 7 AM.

Okay, I know I just posted but I have exciting news! We signed papers on a honda odyssey last night! Woooooo hooooo! Dude. I had perma-grin on the way home. I am soooo ready for this minivan!

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm getting old. But seriously. The element just didn't work because it has suicide doors/ clamshell doors / whatever you want to call them. And rear facing your child's carseat is highly recommended past one year of age, so of course for her safety, we are doing that. So with the Element, I have to either climb into the backseat with Emma and buckle her in or lift her up through the back door up and over the back seat and buckle her in that way. Without a belly, it's semi-tolerable. With a belly, forget it. I get a stupid workout / backache just from putting my kid in the car. Why not get a car? Beacuse the minivan has soooo much more room and with another on the way, you want that room. Why not get an SUV? Because they are high off the ground! And newsflash! Kids are heavy! You either have to swing your kid up into the SUV or swing that baby carrier up there. ::shutters:: The very idea makes my back hurt all over again. Oh and Hans does not jump that high and it's not good for him to jump that high anyway with Great Danes' bad hips and joints.

SO! Remote control sliding doors, here I come!! Fold down third row with enough room for Hans, here I come! AIR CONDITIONING VENTS over Emma, here I come!! That was another reason we moved on this so quickly. There are NO vents in the back of the Element. They are only in the front and you have to just pray your kid is getting enough cool air. So not okay with me.

Here's a pretty picture: (LOL! With deer and rainbows!)

Some Preggo Talk

I got a lot of flack this weekend at work from women who told me I don't look pregnant/I'm not gaining enough weight. Being pregnant is so stressful! My concern of the moment was that I don't want another sonogram at 20 weeks. That would make it my fourth for this pregnancy. That's A LOT. Don't even google it. It just makes me have nightmares. Googling things while pregnant just makes you want to crawl in a dark box and do nothing for nine months except take a pre-natal vitamin and eat three meals a day. There's so much information out there scaring me about choices I make during pregnancy. So my dilemma is: because I'm not gaining that much weight, should I go ahead and get the 20 week sonogram even though everything looked great on the 16 week one? I'm sure my doctor will tell me that my weight gain is fine. I feel like it's fine. I don't remember gaining that much weight with Emma. . . and what's different this time around is I'm picking up 22 pounds of baby a million times a day. That's calorie burning, right? So maybe that's it. Plus, I'm in that part of pregnancy where I get full really easily and so don't scarf down/lick the plate clean like I do when I'm not pregnant.

Some differences with this pregnancy:

Not as nauseous. I remember popping zofran every 6 hours from week 8 to week 20 last time.

Not as tired. But I also don't think I have the time to be tired. With the first kid, you have time to just lay around the house. . . there's no responsibility.

I can't think of anything else right now. I know there's other stuff.

On another note, let me tell you about this blog: http://mamabirth.blogspot.com/

I love, love, love her blog. She posts a birth story every week and does other posts on pregnancy related things except for the last two weeks she's been out because she just had her fourth baby. I used to think having a baby in a birthing center or at home was an outrageous/crunchy idea. Now, I think it all has to do with educating yourself and having an open mind. I don't think these are bad or weird options anymore. In fact, maybe it will happen in the future. I want to try to labor at home as much as I can with this go around. (That is hoping that I get to that point. Obviously if I have to be induced again or have any issues, then my plan goes out the window :-)). . . . Anywho, her latest post is about her fourth birth and eating her placenta for the first time. She cooked it and ground it up and sprinkled it in her orange juice every morning. She talks about how she didn't have "the third day meltdown" or any postpartum depression like she had had with her previous pregnancies. I totally had the third day meltdown!! And unfortunately the third day coexists with them sending you HOME. I bawled the whole way home. My hormones were so insane. Where I was totally grossed out by this before (and still am a little) I'm actually open to the idea of putting my placenta in pill form and taking one a day. Hey, if they help with the mood swings, why not??

Gosh, this time around is so different because I am so different.

Here is my favorite bedding so far for a little boy's room but don't get too attached because Adam hasn't come around to it yet: http://www.potterybarnkids.com/products/jackson-nursery-bedding/?pkey=bboys-nursery-bedding

I'm very into whales right now!!! lol

Were you surprised? I was surprised

So my last post I talked about how we would be finding out the gender next month. I went for my 16 week appointment last Thursday and they said that since all the OB's in Frisco do their own sono's that the radiologists downstairs do free ones every once in a while so they keep up their certifications. So they said they needed 2nd trimester moms and said it was free. I said sure and called Adam to make sure it was okay since it was a possibility they would see the gender.

I went downstairs at 4:15, had to sign paperwork and all this nonsense for a stupid, free sono. I sat there for an HOUR and THIRTY MINUTES waiting. They said there was a "stat leg." Now. You can tell other people that and get away with that. But you're telling a nurse. And unless you are dopplering the entirety of both legs, there's absolutely no way it takes that long. I know. I do them at bedside all the time. Did I mention I had Emma with me? I thought it was a good sign when I stopped by the cafeteria on the way to the radiology department and they were closed but the guy cleaning told me to just take some food. So I grabbed a salad that had ham, turkey and cheese on top and a little cereal thing of rice krispies.

In the waiting room, I let Emma take domain over the place after the first thirty minutes of waiting. Seriously? I'm doing YOU a favor by helping you renew your license and this is how you treat me? Okay. Game on. At the end I popped open the rice krispies and I'm sorry to say they got all over the floor. But you know what? At 5:30 all the secretary staff left. So there wasn't anyone there to judge or watch us. So I just left it there. Packed up Emma, called Adam crying and sat in traffic on the way home to boot.

My OB's office called the next morning to profusely apologize and say again that there was a "stat DVT." "That's a clot" the nurse let me know. Oh thanks. Did you read on my profile where it says I'm a nurse? Did you read on my profile where it says I actually work in a hospital, DESK nurse? Oh I was so mad. But she said they would give us a time and that we would be guaranteed in. So I called up Adam. He arranged to leave work early and we went to the sono.

It was a fine experience. No drama this time around and everyone was very apologetic. Fine, fine.

So, anywho, IT'S A BOY!!! :-)

It's so surprising!! Adam and just drove home stunned. Ecstatic, but stunned. He has all brothers. I have a sister. John and Sharon have only girls. Annie and Michael have only boys. We're totally changing it up here with having a mix! It's so crazy! And it's so hard to wrap my head around the idea of a boy. So weird!!

Names being considered:

Ethan - Adam's pick

Adam Andrew - My pick but Adam's being cautious about it

Andrew - I think it's a great name

Nathan - My second pick to Adam or Andrew

Andrew Ethan - my compromise. I really don't like the name Ethan :-0 lol

Today is my 16 week appointment. I can't believe in one short month, we'll be able to know the gender. Gosh. We are so excited! I'm even more excited with how at peace we are with it being either way. If it's a girl, then great. Emma will have a close sister all her life. If it's a boy, then that's wonderful because Adam needs a boy!! :-) He and Hans are always grappling and rough housing. The man needs a boy!

Emma has been quite a hoot lately. She is less cranky this week so that has made life ten times easier. She's going through a growth spurt. It is hilarious to watch her eat. For Adam's birthday we went out to The Original Pancake House. Emma had an entire banana, mounds of cheerios and more than one pancake and would cry out if her mouth wasn't stuffed with the next bite. Goodness little girl. Chew! Swallow!

My mom offered to watch Emma last night so we went to go see X-Men. Probably my favorite one so far. I love the guy who uses super sonic sound waves to fly.

Yesterday, we also took advantage by test driving three minivans: Nissan, Toyota and Honda. Gosh, they've all got great pros and cons. Nissan is very pretty inside and spacious but it's kind of large and intrusive looking from the outside. The driver and passenger doors are massive and so are the side mirrors. It's just odd looking but I know they're just trying to be less cookie-cutter. I like that the Honda has the middle seat in the second row. It sure was nice sidling up next to Emma and to feel safe doing so with a seat belt. I think that seat will be very necessary on trips. The Toyota has a seat there, but it is lower down. Kind of odd. The Honda has the best display radio area and big screen for a back up camera. All three had back up cameras but the Honda's screen was the biggest. The Toyota, I thought, was the prettiest inside and had the nicest and more organized radio, a/c control area in the front. I felt like I knew what buttons I was pushing so that I knew Emma was getting air in the back. Oh, oh, the Nissan seats do not fold down into the floor. So that's a negative for Hans having to jump that high into the van.

We also test drove a Chrysler Town and Country several weeks back without Emma. It was definitely nice because the second and third row seats fold alllll the way down into the floor. It is a massive amount of room in there. (You wouldn't have to worry about taking a seat out and having to have somewhere to put in in your garage. You're just good to go. BUT the second row seats were reeeally uncomfortable probably because of this. And the guy said that these seats were more comfortable than their last model. Yikes!!

We are also in the process of redoing our bedroom. We have narrowed it down to three bedroom sets: Havertys King Arthur set, Basset Louis Phillipe set (square bed, not the four poster) and Basset Covington set (partial sleigh bed). I really like the covington set but Adam loves the King Arthur set which I'm totally fine with too. It's very beautiful. We're going to paint the room and get rid of the popcorn ceiling. We're going to get new carpet in there which we had the guys come quote us for our bedroom, the front two bedroom kid rooms and Hans' room which would then become a play area/dining area and Hans would move else where. We are also getting new blinds and curtains which I'm probably most excited about. I haaaaate the plastic ones we have now. So ugly!

I think I've updated you plenty!

Enjoy!

Woo hoo. Word's out.

I'M PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Haaaa. It feels so good to finally get it out. It's been a long twelve weeks of not talking about it. So, here are some of the things that have gone on:

1. I have had monster cravings this time around. I could drink cream gravy like it's soup. It's sooooo goooooood. I'm also loving anything with cinnamon: Cinnamon toast crunch, cinnamon graham crackers, cinnamon cookies, and the of course the holy land of Cinnabon. ::drools::

2. I have had nausea but I got zofran at my last appointment and it's been very handy. I only threw up once and it was while I was holding Emma standing at the sink kitchen. She just watched. lol! Didn't phase her a bit. That's my future nurse in the making :-)

3. I got a body pillow in my third trimester last time. I've already pulled it out and started using it around six weeks. It's glorious. Good thing we have a king size bed.

Hey we got a new bed! Our old one had major dips in it and was soooo uncomfortable. Adam always complained about it and I just blew it off but then I got pregnant and I was NOT having any more of those dips. We got a comforpedic mattress and so far we are very happy.

4. Trying to hide a belly in a bathing suit doesn't really work. We signed Emma up for Emler Swim School and at that young of an age, you have to swim with them. I've forced Adam to get off work early several times just so he can swim with her. I didn't have a preggo swimming suit at that time and trying to squeeze into one piece bathing suits I used for lap swimming was just sad. Fat popping out everywhere. Bleh.

5. On that note, I feel huuuuge. I didn't even show for a long time the first time and my body has just been like, "I know how this goes! Here's your belly!" Which is fine. I do love my belly and love rubbing it and love knowing our little chili bean is growing in three.

6. At our 12 week appointment, our doctor couldn't pick up the heart beat with just the doppler so we got another ultrasound which was kind of awesome because the one at six weeks, his printer was broken. So this time we got chili bean pictures just in time to show at Emma's birthday party.

7. Emma's birthday! It was awesome. Stressful but awesome. I had been planning on nice weather and putting a bunch of balls and a little tent and a crawling tunnel out in the backyard and sending all the kiddos out there. It rained the night before and our backyard was soaked. So all the kids stayed inside but I think it worked out pretty well. To my knowledge there was no crying or fighting. The true signs of success. :-)

That's it for now!

I tease, I tease

Adam gets things wrong every once in a while and when it happens, I dig in and hold on because I just don't get to tease him that much!

Riding in the car:

Me: I hope Tom Thumb lets me air up Emma's balloons even though I didn't buy them there.
Adam: You mean the styrofoam ones?
Me: The styrofoam balloons?
Adam: Yeah.
Me: The styrofoam balloons.
Adam: Yes, what's the matter!?!?
Me: Are you trying to say cellophane?
Adam: Yes, fine, cellophane. . . . shut up. (A playful shut up, not a mean one)
Me: ::snickers:: ::points and laughs::

To our chagrin, balloons are neither made of styrofoam or cellophane. But it's still funny.

In the kitchen:

Adam singing: Head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes. Eyes, ears, mouth, nose, throat, throat, throat! . . . ::stops singing::
Courtney: ::uncontrollable laughter::
Adam: ::making his embarassed face::

We don't sing the song the regular way anymore. Adam's version is a lot more fun.

And THAT'S what's happening in our neck of the woods, folks.

My Maid of Honor Speech

I constantly (not constantly, but it nags me every few months or so) think about my maid of honor speech at my best friend Erin's wedding. It was hastily written and only sorta kinda got across what I was wanting/trying to say. So here I am at midnight on a Friday night wide awake and reflecting on this and since I've said the speech about five times in my head, I figure I should get it down so that my best friend knows how much I love her. Here we go.

::drops a huge fold out piece of paper that falls to the floor:: for a laugh :-)

Erin, I love you so much. More than you know. We've been best friends for a long time. . . a friendship that was planted, watered, and grown from calling in sick to school so we could better learn the lyrics to "Build me up Buttercup" at the end of There's Something About Mary. I still feel like we are those women, hanging out in the hot tub at your house. No cares in the world. Although, all our cares at that time to us seemed HUGE and LIFE CHANGING. :-) . . . I love you so much. You are the best friend, confidant I could have asked for in life. Thank you for being my strong person.

About Brian. . . .I didn't like him at first!! No but wait! I had two reasons!!

First character flaw: too nice! Ladies, am I right? We are so judgemental in those first days of meeting our best friend's new man. He's either a jerk or too nice! ::shakes head:: We're so crazy. I suddenly became this women's lib person. "I can get my own door, thank youuuuUU!!" or "I can seat myself, thank you VERY much!!" :-) Of all the things to be critical of. . . but it's 100% genuine. Brian is trustworthy and a true gentleman. (A credit to his mama!)

Second character flaw: On more than one occasion he tried to teach me about the Texas A&M Corps of Cadets. Ummm, hello?!??! I've been going to this school for four years! I know everything there is to know! (Side note ::I whisper to the crowd:: I did not go to your school. I only think I did! lol) . . . No but seriously. I do know a lot of the war hymns and traditions better than I know for both of the schools I attended. Erin, you've come a long way from falling on your saxophone (makes a gag noise) It still haunts me to this day!, to losing more toenails than I care to remember. And it was all for the sake of this intangible, incomprehensible, unspeakable awesomeness that is the corps. . . What I'm trying to say is I get it. And I'm so glad that I got to stand by you through it. I am so glad that I took phone calls, read emails and truly listened to what my best friend was going through for the past four years. Erin, to see the strong woman you have become has been beyond words. I am so very proud of you ::big pause::. . . . Back to Brian. It annoyed me that he did this but I know it's just because he was trying to make conversation and be nice. :-)

During one of the final (one of the many) buddy get-togethers for A-bat, there was a cook out on the A&M campus. I remember this one distinctly because it is there that I saw the first hug and kiss that was usually reserved for me or Erin's parents, go to this man. ::starting to cry:: I remember having this pain in my chest. It had happened. My best friend had found her person. And I felt a little bit of us slipping away. We weren't single gals anymore. We had our men in our lives that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives with. And that's okay. That's how life is supposed to be. Life is finding our person, our soul mate. . . Brian, thank you so much for being a wonderful man for my best friend. You are the best man I could have conjured up to take care of my Poo.

Here's to you Erin and Brian. I know without a shadow of a doubt that you will fight for each other, you will fight for yourselves, and you will fight with each other ;-) May you never stop fighting. May your marriage be long and happy. I love you both.

Claps and cheers all around.

::sigh:: That's how it should have been. Erin and Brian will be married for three years on Tuesday. Happy Anniversary to you!

I'm letting you know I have nothing to blog about. The end. :-(

Urban Dictionary

A friend of mine searched her name on Urbandictionary.com (seriouslysassymama.com) so I decided to do mine:

A non-dirty or disturbing young lady who is a great trust-worthy friend. Never has, and never will have any STDs. :-) Not a whore. (hahahhahahaha. Love it!)

Bob: See that Courtney chick over there?
Billy: Yeah. She's nice.
Joe: She's hot. And totally not a whore
Bob: Definitely not a wore
Billy: The biggest non-whore I know. Unlike Darren.

What to listen to

I've been wondering lately what the best thing to listen to in the car is. Even light rock/mix stations have songs that are crude or dirty, i.e. any Katy Perry song. I care. Even now, when Emma sorta doesn't know but sorta does know what's going on around her and what she hears, I care about what she's listening to. I didn't use to care. Growing up, we listened to really awful songs! "1-2-3-4, Get your woman on the floor" was a hit while I was a kid. Why was I listening to that?? Why did I sing along?? Where were my parents?? lol! It may be even different for boys and girls. Personally, I want my little girl to be as pure and innocent for as long as possible. Is that asking too much? Do parents of boys feel differently? Ponder. Some country music songs allude to sex or partying, especially "new" country. I love classical music but half the fun is knowing what you're listening to. It gets pretty dang boring, otherwise. There's the Christian station but even then, some of those songs get pretty dang cheesy. And I just can't listen to cheese after cheese after cheese. So what do we listen to? The sounds of silence? :-) Rubber ducky you're the one, ee-er, ee-er? :-) It's so hard to know! I guess I'll just flip through all of the stated above until I find something good. And if nothing's on, then we get to listen to Emma push her little music box for the ump-teenth time. ::sigh::

Ramblings again:

A lyric from a song keeps pounding my head today: I didn't do it But if I'd done it How could you tell me that I was wrong? That's from Chicago and it's about a bunch girls killing their husbands/boyfriends/lovers. BUT. Have that song in your head while you're perusing your favorite blogs: mama birth, etc, then you get a completely different mindset. I didn't have a c-section. But if I'd had one, how could you tell me that I was wrong?? Some women are scared to have a vaginal birth. Well. I'm scared to have a c-section. Scared of the process. Scared of having my options taken away. Scared of having surgery. I don't like being a patient. I'd much rather be on the "controlling" end. As nurses and doctors, we are, by nature, controlling. We want to control your environment and for your best interest, we tell you when you can get up, when you can get to bed, and when you can pee. It's a pretty messed up system and after hearing personal stories from friends on their experiences, it's actually changed the way I practice nursing. I listen more. I give more independence. ANYWAY. Going through my doctor's website today, I saw him say something on his blog that he thought that "natural birth" was a baby coming out of a woman's body be that by surgery or through a vaginal canal. And he's right. At the end of the day, you experience God's miracle of life. Do I think that straight up elective c-sections are right? Not really. I think when that happens, it's the woman being scared, not knowing what to expect. (I mean truly elective, not for a medical reason.) Do I think that a woman should be shoved into a class of "failure to wait" by doctors and have a c-section? No. I think that women should be given every opportunity to have a vaginal delivery. But am I going to tell someone that they did it wrong? No. Am I going to tell someone that their baby is somehow diffferent because they were born by c-section? Absolutely not. So why all the blogs demonizing this process? Let's encourage one another. Let's help educate one another. And by God, if He gave us a way to take out our babies, then we can trust that. These thoughts have given me a lot of peace today because for our next baby (no, I'm not pregnant) I'd like a similar experience I had with Emma and I'm so scared to have things go differently. But, I just have to trust that He has it all worked out.

Copycat

Emma's gotten pretty good at the copycat game. That's how she learned to blow razberries and make a popping noise with her mouth. (If I can just get her to freaking clap!) Anyway, I've been sick the last few days so now Emma clears her throat and coughs. She thinks it's hilarious. That's my girl!

I can't decide if I want to have Emma's first birthday at home and just invite close family or do the exact opposite and have it at Little Gym and invite everyone and their dog. LG is nice because I don't have to do anything. Don't have to cook, don't have to clean. Pretty nice. But for a first birthday, it's a little ridiculous. Opinions? Thoughts?

Candice's Bachelorette party was last Friday night and I took off the Saturday after it, too, so I got to spend time with husband and baby during the day. Pretty cool. :-) We just hung out, went out to eat and went to the dog park to enjoy the weather. Rented "Due Date" that night. It's the one with Robert Downey Jr. At first, I was thinking "oh god, not another Ben Stiller movie plot where the guy doesn't stick up for himself." But it got better and I was laughing by the end of it.

Staying at the hotel Friday night was my first night away from Emma. SOOOO hard. I cried. Not gonna lie. I thought about her a lot and Adam sent me pictures of her throughout the night. ::sigh!!::

We started the night out with a little party in the hotel room with gifts for Candice and then we went out to Razoo's. Now. I love you Shelley and Candice and I understand the reasoning behind going there: it was in walking distance and it's Candice's favorite. . . but really??? Cajun food at the beginning of a drinking night sounded good?? I was regretting it as we sat down. Ah well. We went to The Library and then to Pete's Piano Bar which I had never been to before. So much fun!! My voice was SO hoarse by the end of the night. I had to literally scream in Candice's ear at Pete's because the music was so loud. After Pete's, we went back to the room, made a lot of noise, luckily didn't get any hotel staff called on us and finally went to bed where I didn't sleep well because I'm used to some white noise. It was super quiet and hot in the bedroom! Went out to the couch in the living area where it was much cooler and slept the best from 6-9 AM.

Funny story about Pete's: When we got there, it was of course packed, and we just stood at the back for a bit. Candice had to go to the bathroom so I went with her and when we went back to our spot, our group was gone but there was a guy standing there holding Candice's errrrr. . . light up wand with a certain topper that is synonymous with bachelorette parties. Anyway, it was SOO funny. The guy was just standing there acting like it was nothing. We asked where our group was and he said he was told to stand there with the wand and let us know that our group was now at the front with a table. I patted the guy on the shoulder and said, "wow, it takes a true man to stand here with a p**** wand." He immediately looked mortified!! He didn't know there was a thing on the tip of the wand!!! I was like, "helloo!!! It lights up!!!" lol!! So funny. :-D

Since we've settled the whole floor issue, the time has come to think about what we want installed in the living room. We're kind of burnt out on real wood. It is so stressful if anything happens to it. I really don't want to live and die over my hardwood floor. I was talking to Erin yesterday and she introduced me to a new, popular procuct: Porcelain tile that looks like wood.

www.woodgraintile.com

This site will give you an introduction to it. It is moisture, dent, fire and scratch resistant and you can clean it with several different products, not just a hardwood cleaner. I'm pretty sold on the idea. Now just to get Adam in on it. . .

For the front two bedrooms, we've pretty much decided on carpet. It will be a softer and more kid-friendly option in there. We didn't want carpet in the living room because of Hans and his dirty paws and slobbery jowels. :-)

I'm excited for everything to move forward. Stay tuned.

Husbands say the darndest things. . .

I'm going to preface this with yes, sometimes I do get the lyrics to songs wrong. But my husband has to be the funniest person with what he comes up with. How does he hear completely different words??

Example 1: Proud Mary

Lyric: Proud Mary keep on burning
What my husband hears: Bone marrow keep on boiling
His explanation: I thought it made sense because it's like your blood's boiling

Example 2: Cats in the Cradle
It's not so much that he got the lyrics wrong, he just had no idea what the guy was singing about. He sings this to be funny when he has to leave for work in the mornings and leave Emma. Right after that, I started quoting "Little Boy Blue come blow your horn. Your sheep's in the meadow. Your cows in the corn. . . "
Adam: What's that?
Me: A nursery rhyme? They're all nursery rhymes. . .
Adam: Oh, I thought it was like the cat in the cradle was his son as a baby, and they had silver, so that meant they were rich and then his son becomes a boy and the dad can only come home at night (the man in the moon).

Oh my goodness. Now, he asked me if I was going to blog about this and I must say, it is embarassing for him but it's just too dang funny!! :-) I love my husband!!

Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, exciting news :-) Our floor battle is over. Nine months later we have won. We lawyered up. (Thank you, Aunt Linda!) And that got everything moving much more quickly. Amazing what a little piece of paper can do if sent by the right person. We gave the flooring company the option of replacing the floor themselves with numerous detailed stipulations or giving us the money equivalent (plus the lawyer fees) and sever the relationship.

::Drum roll please:: They are giving us the money equivalent and we can pursue a different company to lay our next floor! Yay! This is so great. An answered prayer. A dream come true. 2011 IS looking so much better like I thought it would. I just had a feeling it would turn out okay but seriously, for a while there, I wanted to scream. . . a lot. . . all the time. They were AWFUL trying to make it seem like it was our fault. That there was something wrong with our plumbing, something wrong with our foundation. No, no. You just installed it wrong. The guy who changed it all for us was from the national flooring association and he did his examination of the floor and found several things wrong with how it was installed. That was in October. Well, at least it got taken care of eventually. I just feel like we can finally MOVE ON. We can make the house a home. I know we'll be doing our bedroom this year, too. Maybe next year, the kitchen. It will all come together eventually. All we have is time. :-)


Well, I was going to end there but then remembered you want to hear about other things like my birthday and our anniversary :-). Let me just start off by saying that my mom is awesome. How do I say this? She has really gone above and beyond the call of grandma. I had no idea she would be this way. She's pretty much stayed at our beck and call coming out to Dallas whenever we ask her to. She gets excited to and if we haven't called her in a few days, she calls asking how Emma's doing and if we need her to come out. Seriously? This is my mom? I'll take it!

For my birthday, we went to our at-the-moment-favorite-restaurant Kenny's on Beltline. Very unassuming from the outside, DELICIOUS on the inside. Then, we went to a movie. We haven't been to a movie (I went to see Harry Potter but that doesn't count) . . . I can't remember the last movie Adam and I went to together. That's insane. We are crazy movie people. Before baby, we used to have "two-fer" Saturdays where we would pay for one movie and then when it was over, sneak into the next movie. This is very easy to do at the parks mall theater because they have the massive bathroom in the middle and you can just walk into it after the movie like "oh, I just have to use the restroom before we go" and then walk out to the other side, meet up and voila. Next movie. We would find the two movies that synched up perfectly for this. It was fun. But now the baby kind of throws a wrench into everything. :-) We love our muffin.

Anywho, we went to go see The King's Speech. I loved it. I knew I would. The hard part was getting Adam to go see it. He usually complains about the things I suggest but then ends up loving them. Go figure!!

For our anniversary, we were originally not going to do anything because we've been doing a lot lately. We saw the movie, and had a ridiculous night out when Adam's bosses were in town and ate the most ridiculous meal at a restaurant in uptown where our bill was over $2000 (9 people). That was the night that I drank way too much wine because when you order it by the bottle, the little waiters make sure your glass stays full! We also went to see Dane Cook when he was here at the american airlines center. Another fun night.

Okay, so our anniversary. We went to a quick dinner at Mi Cocina and then went to Ovo, Cirque Du Soleil in Frisco. Some of my coworkers had been and said it was great and we've never been to a show before, so I bought some tickets (at 40% off, nice!) and off we went. This is another one of those things I had to convince Adam was going to be fun and he ended up enjoying. haha. Boys, boys, boys. Anyway, I thought the show was good but it was so cramped! We were packed like sardines. I'm sure I would like it in Vegas in a more formal setting and not in a traveling tent. I'm glad we went, though. Some of the things they do are just breathtaking.

I blame Obama

I hope this comes across clearly. There is a new addendum to making claims on your insurance, specifically your FSA- flexible spending account. Even though it's your money being taken out of your paychecks into this account, it is pre-taxed money and I guess that's why they are putting a constraint on the claims. You now have to have a doctor's note or prescription if you want to claim anything from over the counter medicine to let's say. . . a breastpump.

I followed the rules. I submitted the paperwork and got a letter from my doctor saying that purchasing the breastpump was "medically necessary." That is what I was told to have the letter say. I got a letter in the mail back from Aetna saying that there has to be a written diagnosis in the letter. Mother of pearl. That is ridiculous. I shouldn't have to jump through hoops to get MY money back. ::take a breath, Courtney:: Okay, so I called and spoke with the rudest operator I could possibly conjure up. I asked him to steer me in the right direction of what Aetna wants to hear in a letter; what will satisfy them. He says the following, "the word you're looking for is natural. Why did you not naturally breastfeed your child??" Okay. So this statement is so wrong on so many levels. How dare you judge me or any woman on how she decides to go about this decision. Lucky for me, I was able to do both. Lucky for me, Emma was early and I can claim prematurity as the reason for needing a breastpump. But what if I wasn't lucky!! What if I was like thousands of women who have to make the choice to pump over naturally feeding their child?? What are they to do? This shouldn't even be a question. The fact that you want to pump and give your child breastmilk as opposed to formula is reason enough!! Forgive me for believing that breastmilk is better than formula and keeps your child healthier thus reducing my need to visit the doctor and claim a doctor's bill that in the long run saves Aetna some money. GEEZ, I'M SO SORRY!

We had to call my doctor's office again and the operator spoke with the claims secretary and when it was all over, I called my doctor's office back just to freaking apologize for the operator who was so rude. The secretary's response? "Yeah, I don't really care for him at all!" It's not just me! I was not reading too much in to it. It makes me so mad that this is not more simple. I'm not trying to claim money that isn't mine. I'm not trying to rip anyone off. I am trying to get back our own money.

Lesson learned. If you do not use your FSA money by the end of the year, which is your earned money, you lose it. We lose $1100 this year because we put more into it thinking Emma would be more expensive than she was. Silly us for trying to prepare. Where does my money go, you ask? Back to your place of business. Just kill me now.

Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine, I'll update

I don't have anything to write about. It's same old, same old here. Let's see. . .

I get to send out the bachelorette party invitations for Candice's shin-dig in March. P.S. Sharon if you're having Grace's birthday party on Saturday March 19th, I can come! I took off work for Candice's party the night before. I miss all my Hedgies. Working weekends sucks! . . . but it's the best thing for the fam right now.

Probably shouldn't talk about the floors, but things are coming along. 2011 looks like it will be a good year.

I think it's very possible that Emma's runny nose was just a reaction/corn allergy. It was never anything more than clear mucous and she wheezed a little after eating corn on two occasions. Yes, Courtney the nurse put her stethoscope up to her baby. lol. I'm so excited to take her to her 9 month appt to see where she is on the growth charts! Standing on the scale with her, she is 20 pounds!! She had a massive growth spurt in January! We switched her over from her carseat carrier to a regular stay in the car carseat, which means it will be just a little more difficult to run in and out of places. Ah well. We love our growing girl.

I finally gave up the battle and am fully okay with getting a minivan. ::sigh:: Now, here me out even though you'll hate this: When you have kids, you'll understand. Minivans are freaking awesome!! lol! They're so spacious and roomy and can carry all your crap! If we find an SUV that's cool and just as roomy then by all means, we'll get that one. But, yeah. It's fine. I don't care anymore. I won't feel like a nerdy mom. I'll feel like a "heck yeah, I've got all this space!" mom. :-D

Seems like a good place to end the post.

I will go to yoga today. I will go to yoga today. I will go to yoga today.

I went to yoga two times when Emma turned 4 months old and I thought I could fit in an hour session at night. That didn't work out and now I'm going to try again. Emma puts herself to sleep these days and she doesn't need me to feed her, so it's perfect. I could go to any class but I really prefer and like Joseph with Yoga Style Fitness. Whenever he's at a 24 hour fitness, I try to take advantage. The class is tonight at 7:30. Should be good!

Short post. I don't feel like writing more! Ha!

Life, life, life and the "The Hell You Say" mentality

Emma has a runny nose. It's the first time she's ever been sick and she is just so pathetic! I hate watching it! Several things have coincided with the event that it's hard to pinpoint the culprit but I think I have to point to me. Here are the different options:

1. I stopped breastfeeding a week ago and have now opened her up to a world of illness with no immune support anymore from mom

2. Emma visited her boyfriend Clint this week who is also sick

3. Emma's first class at Little Gym was yesterday. I was already not feeling good about her crawling around on the mat that little kids had just run around on.

4. Her teething symptoms are progressing and maybe we'll see a tooth soon.

5. And this is probably it, since her snot is clear. I gave her corn. I KNOW, I KNOW. You're not supposed to give until they're one year old but I DIDN'T KNOW until now. I'm such a bad mom :-( She has the signs of a mild corn allergy of congestion and runny nose, no fever.

Ugh. If I were the type to say FML, I would say it now. :-)

Hopefully, her symptoms will pass soon. And if it's an illness, then I know it had to happen sooner or later.

The "The Hell You Say Mentality":
I was visiting the newest Hedgpeth this week and while there, Michael had asked me what we did to get Emma in her own room. The transition, etc. I couldn't think of anything at the time. Emma has gone from her pack n' play in our room to her crib relatively painlessly. Having a little time to think back, I have to note that Adam and I did not co-sleep, first of all. She slept next to us and everynight (since she was four months old) I have put her to sleep with the same routine. The exact. same. routine. At the end of getting her to sleep, I would lay her in her pack 'n play and go back out to watch TV, etc. So it's not like I was always laying down with her or like she was used to me being right there. ALSO, Adam watches Emma every weekend and while I was a little crazy repeating instructions to him over and over and over, he kinda just did his own thing. At the time, it was super annoying as a I had to restart Emma's schedule every Monday. However, when we were starting to transition Emma to her room, Adam would just take her in there, lay her down in her crib wide awake and she would cry for about ten minutes and fall asleep. With Adam not listening to me, it actually benefited us all. Emma learned to like her crib and feel comfortable and now you can just lay her in there, walk away and get on with your day/night.

She does go to sleep at 7 almost every night on the dot which is sometimes intrusive to having a life as a married couple, but we make it work.

It's all about breastfeeding. I'm just warning you now.

I officially stopped breastfeeding on Thursday. I had weaned Emma down to nursing just twice a day and then when David and Melanie watched her Thursday (They watch her every Thursday night which has been a huge blessing) she had only nursed once that day, and I decided that would be the ideal time. It was indeed nice not to have to wake up early to pump before work on Saturday but oh my gosh, it hurt sooo badly. I have had a great resource of women around me at work who had all breastfed their babies so they all had little pieces of advice. I chugged peppermint tea (gross!), put ice packs on, alternated with hot showers and today, I still feel full but it doesn't hurt nearly as much.

It's very bittersweet ending breastfeeding. It took several months for Emma and I to get on a good, easy routine so I didn't feel the bond early on. I really enjoyed providing for her around month three. What an awesome feeling where codependency is not a negative thing.

I will not miss:
Pumping at work
Wondering if Emma is getting enough to eat
Whether Emma is eating too much
Is Emma eating so often because she's not getting enough?

It is so stressful! However. :-) I can't wait to do it all over again. Adam and I havevn't quite settled onto a number of how many children we want. We play with the idea, talk about the future and how it will be so much fun to have a house full of kids. On the other hand, it is hard work and you have to be on top of your game. I think we'll just know when we know!

P.S. Can someone help me with the background template? I want to get rid of the birdie one but don't know where it is in the html set up. Thanks!